Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML
Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, I was at my usual grocery store when an elderly lady smiled at me and said, "It's so nice to see a young person not obsessed with their appearance." I was dressed in sweats, I hadn't showered, and hadn't brushed my hair. I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Dblocker 18
Yet another FML that proves old people aren't so innocent.
perdix 29
Yeah, down on your knees is nice . . . but on the other hand, if you have to reach a low spot, turn around and bend over at the waist. Your tips will go through the roof! Whatever you do, don't squat -- that's just ugly.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
BossPathfinderGM 14
Ah, but is it a CHERRY cheesecake?
TheDrifter 23
Strawberry and chocolate are good flavors too. Man, now I'm not sure if I should be hungry or horny.
Darksoul09 16
The fact that the old guy finds Cheesecake "Suggestive" is weird enough. But a yellow shirt = Cheesecake?
akiahara 14
Maybe it's a very pale yellow.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Sorry about the cheesy puns, but I feel bad for OP, she doesn't dessert that and I know i couldn't cake it, I'd crumble under the pressure of working with creepy customers like that!
CheeseTron 15
You don't need to start worrying until one asks you to stroke his cheek.
j_cat187 19
I think he's hinting that you should suck him off.
kittykat1497 7
I think your fellow FMLers are hinting that your comment sucked.
panicsdisaster 17
I bet those old dudes were used to getting slapped back in the day.
rattusrattus 18
I'm pretty sure the only reason those old dudes didn't get slapped was because they were customers. They would have deserved it.
TheDrifter 23
Back in the day? It sounds like they're used to the slap end of slap'n'tickle tight now.
Ponponpon_fml 5
I'd cheese YOUR cake.
Punksister19 10
This is the world telling you that you need to get a new job.
U_GotitDude 18
Stop being so attractive?
poccocurantes 7
Still sowing the wild oats. Unfortunately the reaping part becomes more difficult as you get older.