Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML
Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, I was at my usual grocery store when an elderly lady smiled at me and said, "It's so nice to see a young person not obsessed with their appearance." I was dressed in sweats, I hadn't showered, and hadn't brushed my hair. I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted. FML
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Top comments
Dblocker 18
Yet another FML that proves old people aren't so innocent.
perdix 29
Yeah, down on your knees is nice . . . but on the other hand, if you have to reach a low spot, turn around and bend over at the waist. Your tips will go through the roof! Whatever you do, don't squat -- that's just ugly.
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Comments (103)
diving_fml 30
have you thought about a career change?
EffUrEll 8
It's always nice to get a compliment, right?
Nergalszarsur 3
You, my Lady, definately need to stop being so attractive, lawl (just saying).
jbunzie 6
a cheesecake is what you call a pin up girl back in the 1950s. often referenced as "cheesecake girls". soo thats what the old guy meant lol
TheDrifter 23
True, but it's far more fun to imagine what flavor of cheesecake OP might be.
karlcolt45 19
hey gurl! Your eyes are as blue as my favorite prescription
Cupcake040 17
Best thing I've ever heard!!!!!!!
tonijulie 20
Exactly what I was thinking!
LolFMLnot 10
At least you know you are sexy and even turn on old men
Eivana 37
Take is as you are beautiful to old people in that uniform! Somehow it appeals directly to the elderly.
rott3n 6
You should of said "why don't you join me" and then punched him in his old balls.
doglover100 28
Where do you work?