Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML
Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, I was at my usual grocery store when an elderly lady smiled at me and said, "It's so nice to see a young person not obsessed with their appearance." I was dressed in sweats, I hadn't showered, and hadn't brushed my hair. I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted. FML
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Top comments
Dblocker 18
Yet another FML that proves old people aren't so innocent.
perdix 29
Yeah, down on your knees is nice . . . but on the other hand, if you have to reach a low spot, turn around and bend over at the waist. Your tips will go through the roof! Whatever you do, don't squat -- that's just ugly.
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Comments (103)
kalbrek009 20
Next time scream "stranger danger" or "stop trying to molest me"..that'll make them stop that bs in a heartbeat.
twinkiefeets 17
What does a suggestive cheesecake look like?
WonkeyDonkey 10
Sheesh! They sound like a bunch of horny old goats! Would you be allowed to wear an ipod (with earphones/headphones) while you work, to muffle out the sounds of their advances?
SoylentCandycorn 10
I would have replied: "Good, because you'll probably see one on her knees again."
awkwardpenguin1 3
At least your hot *insert awkward smile and attempt to comfort*
SillyGirl4602 23
Op, I feel your pain. I was bartending one day and this man told me he would give me a really big tip if I danced on the bar for him. Some men are just really creepy.
buckdharma 37
Op is a stripper. She calls picking up singles with her teeth,''cleaning.'' She dances under the name''Sara Lee.'' Everybody doesn't like (the other girl) Muffins.
KnifeStuff 8
at least he didn't pick and eat an eyelash from your face...
ninjaghost99 10
Just a harmless old man making a joke
calivianya 29
Who says he's making a joke, and who says he's harmless? That's not funny.
tnkitty 3
You must be really hot.