Miscellaneous: Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot...

By combo - 28/02/2010 09:12 - France

Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 27 515

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Same thing different taste

By Hairytoes - 07/10/2011 10:35 - United States

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 730

You deserved it 17 452

By gassy - 12/02/2013 14:18 - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 147

You deserved it 35 658

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 586

You deserved it 2 640

Headshot!

By almyric - 02/10/2019 12:02

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 282

By Grrr - 20/07/2012 07:58 - United States - Salem

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 374

You deserved it 2 077

By fEk - 22/03/2019 09:00 - Australia

Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 323

By Anonymous - 11/05/2011 14:10 - Australia

Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 873

You deserved it 43 583

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 617

You deserved it 3 243

Scream

By dating a pussy - 18/02/2014 21:15 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 228

You deserved it 5 757

By scaryhairy - 04/11/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 996

You deserved it 5 182

sum1savemeh 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 16:06

I think you might need to shave

TehFuzzyOne 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 16:06

Is that the FIRST time?

Comments

ellness 0

Monday 1 March 2010 1:31

hahahahaha

beachxlovex3 0

Monday 1 March 2010 1:46

what does OP mean? ive seen it like 13761274624527 times and i wanna know !

xHabsfanx 0

Monday 1 March 2010 7:17

OP means Original Poster, who's also known as the person who posted the fml.

budster1993 2

Monday 1 March 2010 4:11

I can hear your scre it sounds so gay lol

0mfgz 0

Monday 1 March 2010 4:25

That is gross. Shave that shit.

strawhat 2

Monday 1 March 2010 7:08

dumb bitch! tweezers! hahaha

Solisa149448 0

Monday 1 March 2010 7:14

Ewww. Hairy toes are gross. Shave them.

drea41 0

Monday 1 March 2010 7:26

gross shave that

hellzrydaz 0

Monday 1 March 2010 8:41

ydi for being a ******!

Compass 0

Monday 1 March 2010 14:52

And you didn't think it was probably the grass you were walking in? YDI for being so fucktardedly easy to startle.

ash92_fml 0

Monday 1 March 2010 16:08

um. shave it?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 796

You deserved it 16 308

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 167

The Top

Today, the city shut off the water at my house because my roommate thought that the water bills he had been hoarding were "suggestions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 802

You deserved it 3 269

Today, my sister's boyfriend dumped her after a huge fight they had, regarding him getting a haircut without talking to her first. I asked if she also needed to consult with him first before getting a haircut. Without a hint of self-awareness, she said, "Of course not. That's stupid. Why would I need his permission?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 165

Today, thanks to my new anti-anxiety meds, I am finally no longer agoraphobic. Today also marks 5 weeks of constant diarrhea due to the same meds. Guess who's not leaving the house anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 045

You deserved it 303

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 293

You deserved it 13 137

Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 156

Today, I realized that my coach doesn't close the door and the blinds to perform half-naked body checks (to make sure his team is in shape) on anyone else but me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 692

You deserved it 4 826

Same thing different taste

Headshot!

Scream

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