Today, I was boarding a plane and a woman's bag started to fall. In the spur of the moment I thrust my arm up to catch it. I didn't catch the bag, but I did catch her boob. I had to sit next to her for the rest of the flight. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, on a flight, a woman in a crop top reached up to get her bag from the overhead locker and her breasts ended up on top of my head for like a second. Total accident, no biggie. That was six days ago, we fly home tomorrow, and my wife hasn’t spoken a word to me since the breast thing. FML
Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML
Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she'd put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right onto my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth and busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML
Today, I was getting onto an airplane and happened to admire the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when my foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to my seat but now I have bruised nuts. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML
Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML
Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML
Today, I was sitting in the lecture hall. A girl walked by to get to her seat and her dress got caught on the handles, lifting it up. She didn't notice but I did, so I tried to take it off the handles. She turned around to see me holding her dress up. FML
Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML
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Top comments
jammy_side_up 0
if she drops her bag again.. you know why. lol
jtthegr8 26
At least it wasn't a total loss...right?
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Comments (121)
MargieDrury 1
Lady, should understand you were trying to help. Hope so though!
sean5 0
So then you scored then right?
Matt504 9
Got to second base...sounds like a win
Awesomehobo44 3
He didn't even pass first lol
perdix 31
You did catch her bag . . . one of the "fun" kind! How can she not like your upthrusting arm?
bubo_fml 11
Tell her you're Atlas, lifting her globes of joy...
bubo_fml 11
"Good afternoon Ma'am. Might as well skip the customary handshake, seeing that we're already more intimately acquainted..."
natepooch 4
that's a pretty good excuse for getting some boobage
perdix 31
That was fun back in the day when it was free, but now the greedy airlines are charging steep boobage fees!
lidemocr 0
At least you tried to help like a gentleman. Hopefully she was cool and laughed it off.
momo1972 3
Nice, firm were they?
MigraineurOfLife 15
No good deed goes unpunished!