Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML
Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML
Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
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Top comments
EffinWhosLife 0
I hate the kind of parents that think their kids are so perfect, that they would never do anything wrong. If i were you, I would've slapped her and left. (I would slap my Aunt too, if she weren't family.)
MooKee 0
That's rude, you should have slapped her back! XOhah DID You at least get paid
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Comments (191)
Realfaction 0
Americans seem to be losing their senses day after day..... Not saying everybody is, but you know what I mean by that.
pancakelover 0
Where do kids be learning these sentence enhancers?
kiripsan 0
Sigh, ignorant people. More sad is how everyone's learning how to swear at younger and younger ages.
watermelon_fml 0
i doubt this happend. really...i dont think she would have slapped you.
dk_fml 0
Slapped you? What the hell's wrong with her??
Ows_fml 0
I hope you gave her a piece of your mind and told her to raise kids with better manners!
Luv4pink1721 0
I would have slapped her right back twice as hard and said she should raise her kids not to swear instead of blaming you
av232 0
I get she's mad cause she thought you were cussing in front of the kid but it's not like she's teaching her kid any better then how she thought u were.
ShinyShine 0
I would have slapped her back then called the cops telling her she hit me. That was not even your fault & it was her kid stupid lady who in the world does she think she is. Just for a stupid word man if she goes to school then she would have LOTS of problems for slapping all those kids for cursing.
fckaduck 0
Wtf, you can't just go around slapping people. I hope you beat her ass.