Today, I was babysitting an eleven year-old boy. He decided we would play with Nerf guns with Velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck to his pants, and he wiggled it for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after work I came home to find my sons trying to use my tampons as Nerf darts. FML
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I took my 8 year-old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child, and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML
Today, my dad decided to test if Nerf guns actually hurt by sneaking up on me and shooting me with one. He missed; however, when he shot at me again, he hit my cat on my lap, causing my poor cat to run away. After desperately trying to apologize to my cat, he then shot at me a THIRD time, nailing me in the balls. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
Today, my 14 year-old son asked to join my buddies and me at the gun range. The second I finished the safety lecture and handed him a pistol, he started twirling it on his finger (thankfully, it was unloaded). I smacked him in the head and took him home. Now he's moping and sulking like a bitch. FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
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Top comments
ChaosZirconia 0
That's actually pretty funny. Only an idiot would hear the explanation and find something wrong with that. So, uh, what's the big deal?
Yunie_fml 0
I think it would've been worse had it been the mom who walked in. Maybe that would've been FML worthy.
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Comments (39)
pmole42088 0
ya its not FML worth but it was funny so thanks!
24788 7
At least you can make the kid happy. Most baby sisters are boring.
leilipop 0
I don't understand why people complain that something's not "FML worthy." I come to this website to hear amusing stories, not to sadistically take pleasure in other people's suffering.
Jaypeg 0
I get the awkwardness totally (as a fellow babysitter.) Try having a pillowfight and slamming into a closet door so hard it almost falls on the kids. it fell off its hinges. Yeah I get the "uhhhh" moment.
thatswasup 0
#8 ftw! Yet another babysitting fml.... GETTING OLD PEOPLE!!!!!!
CassandraBear93 0
I've gotten one of those nurf things down my throat
lacklusterlife 2
hmmm, sounds hot.
scateice 0
That's some ****** up 11 year old....
lilpanda 0
11? Really, wow. When I was eleven I was the one babystitting.
delfino1604 24
someone got fired that day haha
Bcfrmkc816 17
If it was a guy who shot it and it was a girl the y'all would say he was a perv or creeper