By AAMBC4 - 09/04/2013 10:30 - United States - Jersey City

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 058
You deserved it 3 875

AAMBC4 tells us more.

OP here. Some of these comments crack me up, but thank you for the chuckle. My daughter is the light of my life and truly has a sense of humor and intelligence beyond her short 3 years. I appreciate the support of most and I am happy to have this to share with her as she gets older.

Top comments

ise3 10

Yeah the kid probably thought the doctor meant water


jisaac09 25

Don't sweat it OP, at least he can't tell any of your friends about it.

ise3 10

Yeah the kid probably thought the doctor meant water

guyverzerox 6

Kid probably thought the doctor meant drinking in general as in any and all types of liquid. He is 3 for god sakes if your doc really thinks that because of a three year old said so get a new one he's and idiot.

Reminds me of a story I got told by my husbands dad when he was younger his dad got pulled over him in the car the cop asked if he'd been drinking when the reply was no my husband yelled "you don't lie to policemen daddy you were drinking the whole way up the road" thankfully the cop was smart enough to explain to a small child that ginger ale is ok to drink when you drive cause it won't make you drive funny and he got back "what if the bubbles go up your nose? I can't even WALK straight when that happens."

dontpanic_fml 32

Weird that OP couldn't figure out what her kid meant since she's, you know, a mother lol

Jessj958 19

Kids say the craziest things! I wouldn't worry about it too much OP. Hopefully your DR is smart enough to realize your 3 year old doesn't fully understand the meaning of drinking.

Your Child is really adorable! He's just thinking of your well being... And he's completely right; you do drink all the time! No one told him you were talking about alcohol!

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And how exactly are we to determine who is an alcoholic or not? What tests are we supposed to run to figure this out? Oh that's right - there isn't one. Unless they come to the office drunk, alcoholics are typically VERY good at hiding it.

Schizomaniac 24

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And this is why we need psychic doctors who can read minds. Can't expect people to tell the doctor the truth about their lifestyle in favor of their health.... Wouldn't want them to risk a scolding, would we?

Well obviously a good doctor can read minds and carefully stalks all his patients to know their habits! It's not like most addictions are relatively easily hidden until the worst has happened or anything, why would a practicing medical professional ever think such a silly thing as that?

unknown_user5566 26

Doc, you sure do know a lot about hiding alcoholism. Do we need to have an intervention? I'll call Dr. Phil.

43 - had a whole long comment then finally picked up on your sarcasm

hooligyn123 18

Yes, because alcoholics are drunk every minute of every day...

43- Let me see your medical degrees. Because I'm pretty sure Doc would know a lot more than you.

I died a little inside after reading #43... Honestly, I'd take a grammatically correct doctor over you..

Oh my god, people. Schizomaniac is joking around with Doc. I'd say there is hope for you yet, but I don't think Doc is able to fix a broken sense of humor.

PandaKitteh 20

-pew- right over everyone's head. x]

tedmush 7

The spelling makes my brain sad :(

Well, I learned from House that doctors always send other doctors to break into patients' houses during treatment to see what they may be hiding, so I'm sure they will notice the absence of empty bottles...

I'd be willing to bet that "doctor" received his diploma in a cracker jack box, if he couldn't comprehend that your 3 year old is naive to the differences between drinking and "drinking"

Correction. Fruity Pebbles box. Cereal is serious business.

myoukei 31

Apparently your three year old has seen you "drink" if they responded. But you may want to find a way to explain that alcohol is not like juice or soda and is bad to drink...

I have this weird feeling you've never heard of "social drinking".

Who are we more likely to believe? An adult who has years of practice at lying, or a three year old kid who doesn't know how to lie yet?

RedPillSucks 31

with advanced degrees in liering, lie-ology, and lieciactry

You think three year olds have trouble lying?

If you refer to my comment 28, I was young once and I thought drinking included soda and water. Strange though that the doctor did not realize this. Anyway, so once when I was a child I thought my mother was a drinking driver! And that's my first time being beaten by a belt! (No, just kidding.)

Virgilius - it's a well-known fact that alcoholics go to great lengths to hide their problem.

Indeed they do Doc. Way I see it, if they can't be honest, they deserve what comes of it. Of course, I can't even imagine how nerve racking the risk of an unwarranted malpractice suit must be...

Kids are better liars at three than they are at being aware of 'adult' colloquialisms.

Social drinking is drinking with friends, or in a *social* environment often. In fact, it's considered a proper term by psychiatrists.