Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
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Top comments
Peroxide 3
I like your approach of slap first, ask questions later. You would make a good pimp.
Manon_fml 2
How can this be anything else then a YDI?
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Comments (64)
goingdownhill 0
then did you cry? lol
prabhpreet_s 0
i'd slap her on the face twice.
zootsuit 0
jesus, american kids these days are such wimps. who cries after getting slapped on the arm? they're all spoiled brats...
mochiko 0
you are gay. the kid was only like 3 years old. calm down
tgmarie 1
Thanks, we will make sure to keep that in mind while we keep kicking every other country's ass.
iFruit 0
It would've been funny if you slapped her back, then your bro slapped the boy, and then she slapped your bro, and then he slapped her, then you slapped her, then the boy slapped you, then you slapped the boy, then the mom slapped you again, etc etc. Is the word slapped starting to seem funny to anyone?
heavenandhell 0
no not really shut up
emilyyy93 0
peroxide I love you. marry me?
jonny2x4 0
If you're the older sibling, it is your duty to keep the younger ones in check. As for this bitch, if I catch anyone lay a hand on my kid, their ass is going to get knocked the **** out.
fightinchicken26 0
Too bad YOUR mother wasn't there to slap HER back.
glassisass 0
22 shut the hell up. the dude was funy.
Muffinish 0
YDI for not checking if it was your brother, and trying to slap him to begin with.
Poochie22 0
That's some funny shit.