Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw...

lolfayce 6 December 2009, 18:37 United States

Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML

68 comments

Collection

Thanksgiving

Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.

Same thing different taste

RetailRage 10 August 2015, 12:23 San Francisco, United States

Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML

111 comments

Scarred4Life 11 October 2015, 03:30 San Francisco, United States

Today, while babysitting my nephew, I was looking through a bin of toys, and I saw a fake spider. I picked it up to do a prank with. It wasn't fake. FML

46 comments

Pwnedofthedead This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff Canada

Spooked

Today, I was walking to my friend's Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

1 comment

fmlpgh 16 February 2010, 11:51 United States

Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

100 comments

becca1417 1 September 2009, 22:21 United States

Making a scene

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed, "Holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

134 comments

Penkkis 13 September 2011, 06:11 Finland

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML

92 comments

sluttyfox 31 October 2018, 14:00

Today, I was excited to finally receive my Halloween costume in the mail after the one I ordered back in September got lost in transit. Upon reaching my mailbox, I saw the lock had been broken off and my new costume had been stolen. The party is tomorrow. FML

6 comments

Not a child hater 31 October 2024, 00:00 United States

The Child Catcher

Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML

1 comment

Anonymous 31 October 2009, 23:37 United States

Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML

40 comments

jessica 17 February 2009, 23:56 United States

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

43 comments

blastvortex 4

6 December 2009, 23:18

Actually, it could be a justifiable resemblance, and as someone who's worked in retail, I can understand. I've seen and dealt with plenty of juvenile delinquents in my day. On the other hand, you don't grab at or tackle a person committing a crime unless they're hostile, much less a kid. That was foolish.