Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML
Today, while babysitting my nephew, I was looking through a bin of toys, and I saw a fake spider. I picked it up to do a prank with. It wasn't fake. FML
Today, I was walking to my friend's Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML
Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed, "Holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
Today, I was excited to finally receive my Halloween costume in the mail after the one I ordered back in September got lost in transit. Upon reaching my mailbox, I saw the lock had been broken off and my new costume had been stolen. The party is tomorrow. FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
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Top comments
blastvortex 4
Actually, it could be a justifiable resemblance, and as someone who's worked in retail, I can understand. I've seen and dealt with plenty of juvenile delinquents in my day. On the other hand, you don't grab at or tackle a person committing a crime unless they're hostile, much less a kid. That was foolish.
pickle2727 0
I think the poor kid has to write up a FYL now! :-(
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Comments (68)
horse_lvr96 0
a prosthetic hand....a monster claw ... dnt c a resemblence
racistmexican 0
wow great job dick nose
Hadley_fml 0
This is why when I worked retail, I never enforced any loss prevention. Hey, everybody working there still got paid the same whether or not we had rampant theft, and I was barely even getting paid enough to mind the register.
truladyred 0
Exactly. Hell, if someone so much as looked at my register I would turn my back and practically beg them to take my cash so I would have an excuse to go home. Thank god I graduated college and have a real job now.
MsNeverSingle 0
lol i don't get paid enough to giva damn about someone stealing from my job...im still gettin my check rather the business loses money or not
cals 0
that's pretty much how i see it too. and besides, if OP thought he was stealing, why didn't he call after him first? if the kid ran, then yeah, theif. if he turned around, then OP would have seen the hand more clearly.
TheHo 0
i wanna see the actual kid read this and be like "wtf that was you? your ass is done you piece of shit" anyways, id laugh my ass off if i were you xD
lifeinhd 3
wtf that was you? your ass is done you piece of shit
Dcvictorious 0
"Today, I was the costume rental shop I work at." Sounds like a good costume but don't you think the customers would be cofused with 2 costume shops,one in the other?
theluckygirl28 8
Wow. I HATE douche-bags like you. you guys always assume someone is doing something WRONG even if they're not. I was recently ARRESTED because of someone like you. You should be ashamed of yourself. You probably scarred that poor kid for like. you COMPLETELY deserve this.
WTFsGoingOn 0
I'm just curious now, what did you get arrested for?
Peroxide 3
Stealing a box of vibrators.
theluckygirl28 8
well i got arrested for stealing even though i had no intent to steal nor did i attempt to. they just assumed :(
pwincessa23 1
ydi for getting in filthy ass water. nasty!
rockerguy73 0
I hate it when people just assume things!
1800getalife 0
today, i went to a costume store. because al the costumes were lame I decided to just leave. on my way out a man stopped me and told me that I was a thief and I had to pay for the monster hand I was wearing. i'm not wearing a monster hand I'm wearing a prosphetic hand. fml
theeBeezWaXx 0
omfg thats horrible lols , i know that kidd was like wtf.!
babbybreezy 0
thaats fuccking hilarious! (x
kwan613 0
u should get ready to try ur new LAWSUIT on for size.....its specially made with an electronic dog collar that shocks u whenever u JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS....dumb ass