Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML
Today, while babysitting my nephew, I was looking through a bin of toys, and I saw a fake spider. I picked it up to do a prank with. It wasn't fake. FML
Today, I was walking to my friend's Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML
Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed, "Holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
Today, I was excited to finally receive my Halloween costume in the mail after the one I ordered back in September got lost in transit. Upon reaching my mailbox, I saw the lock had been broken off and my new costume had been stolen. The party is tomorrow. FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
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Top comments
blastvortex 4
Actually, it could be a justifiable resemblance, and as someone who's worked in retail, I can understand. I've seen and dealt with plenty of juvenile delinquents in my day. On the other hand, you don't grab at or tackle a person committing a crime unless they're hostile, much less a kid. That was foolish.
pickle2727 0
I think the poor kid has to write up a FYL now! :-(
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Comments (68)
LemonStarship 5
Ouch. It's all good hook him up with some discounts.
FerrariCake 2
He should have crushed your hand with his bionic grip. Then as you dropped to the ground writhing in pain he could have stood over you, like Muhummad Ali over Sonny Liston, "monster claw" in the air, celebrating his ultimate victory.
lostfaithinpppl 19
OP, you are a moron :(
slyace 9
Well, how do you feel now jackass? You make the poor kid cry too?
skyeyez9 25
beware of The Claw!
WTFsGoingOn 0
I don't really see this as an FML. You acted like an idiot and in turn looked like an idiot, isn't that to be expected? You totally stole this kid's FML. He probably got home and was thinking how cool it was that he finally had a real FML to post just to find that you got here first. That's like a whole new FHL for the poor kid.
ooohlife 0
I make prostheses and some of them are very "high-tech" looking, so that really stinks! Especially since you can be held accountable for a lost or stolen item in the store!
danu321 0
i'm a monster!!!!
ynp092883 0
That poor kid. Scarred for life
WTFC 0
comments are way better than the fml. Also, I wonder what you wouldv done to him if you thought he was waling out with one of your REAL monster claws. damn.