Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML
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Top comments
ciarafox9 9
Chap stick is a big responsiblity ok? Think of the consequences!
mea_iloveskiing 26
Better too young than too old :)
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Comments (141)
miz66independent 1
I think we all have **** on our mind with just one look at your picture.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Not to be a total douche or anything, but did anyone else notice a spelling (and/or grammar) mistake on the FML? -what chap-stick to get when* an old lady -"You are too* young for this!!! Think twice!!!" My apologies if I'm wrong on the correcting part.
NorCalStoner707 0
Damn u have a life...
ninjaCarebear 17
I think the spelling was right. Also the grammar, unless you put a comma after get. But I also could be wrong.
BikeAllDay818 6
Lmao xD
bizarre_ftw 22
What the hell did she think you were buying?! What products were you standing next to?
ykthechild 0
well she said, up there ^^^^^"deciding what chapstick to get." So, I would assume she was next to the chapsticks, unless i'm mistaken
bizarre_ftw 22
What on earth are you two talking about? I'm looking at the pillow, it looks fluffy ^_^ (I'm an insomniac, that should explain it (Ha ^_^ I'm the only one replying to this comment that won't be whacked by an old lady with an umbrella [hopefully])
atldude28 7
OH I GET IT ******* HAHA
Itstherealjen 0
Once im at salon,there's an old lady telling me not to dye my hair because I'm too young.I'm already 18
noelykins1 19
Im sure the old lady thinks people shouldn't dye their hair until they get grey roots.
says_sweet 0
Sweet.
perdix 31
She thought you were going to use it as a mini-***** like she does. Back in the day, there was no Internet and if you could find a sex shop, it was in the bad part of town. Buying sex toys was shameful and difficult, so people had to be creative back then to pleasure themselves mechanically. Remember that cliché of the angry wife chasing her husband with a rolling pin? Why do you think she always had that rolling pin handy? You see where I'm going with this?
rattusrattus 19
Lip balm addiction is a terrible thing... you spend your entire life wondering where the next delightful application is coming from, and the soft feeling of your lips never lasts long enough. Then you find that only certain brands will do and you HAVE to get them, no matter what. So yes, the old lady was right, you ARE too young for this. The umbrella was uncalled-for though.
chickinova 13
lol chapstick addiction! join the club my friend:)