Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ciarafox9 9
Chap stick is a big responsiblity ok? Think of the consequences!
mea_iloveskiing 26
Better too young than too old :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (141)
HomeAl0ne 20
Maybe she has poor eyesight and thought it was a Lady Speed Stick.
obri98 10
Was the Chapstick display right next to the condom display or was she just being crazy?
tashag93 17
C
mowmowlife 21
Oh my god that is hilarious. Sorry OP! Your life sucks but haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
doglover100 29
I guess she thought it was condoms. She needs better glasses.
autumn1937 6
What the **** is wrong with people? Assault much? I don't care if she is old, get her ass arrested.
DubstepMasta 18
I think i figured out the connection... Good chapstick=Soft lips. Soft lips=Good ******** Good ********=Sex. Sex=Kids. Kids=Overpopulation of the earth. Overpopulation of the earth=People having to die. THAT OLD LADY IS TRYING TO SAVE LIVES
shithappensr8 9
cherry chapstick means ******. that old lady spoke of serious responsibility.
HermioneEverdeen 7
Do I smell assault charges?