Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was supposed to get married. I called it off only 20 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to begin because I saw my fiance punch his own mother in the face. FML
Today, I went to pick up my sister's wedding cake. It was a nice day, the shop was close, and the cake wasn't too big so I walked. On my way back, I stepped aside for a kid on a bike, tripped over my shoelaces, and dumped my sister's expensive, custom-designed cake. The wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, my son took his very first steps. Unfortunately, it was during my sister's wedding. She had a full-blown bridezilla meltdown over how he "stole her spotlight". FML
Today, I stood too fast, got dizzy, and fell over. I fell on the grandmother of the bride, pushing her into the wedding cake table. Cake ruined, grandmother in hospital for a broken arm, and everybody mad at me. FML
Today, as I’m single, I got permission to bring a friend as my plus-one to my sister's wedding. He’s religious so I thought of all people he’d be one to behave. Nope. He got plastered on champagne, slapped the brides ass as she was walking down the aisle with our dad, then started a fight. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my mom because she believes that my fiancé is "irresponsible" and "immature". I stormed out and drove back home. There, I walked in on my fiancé and his friends. They were in a heated and almost violent argument over which CSI is the best. The wedding's next month. FML
Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be a wonderful idea to make me late for me own wedding. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't focused solely on my sister because my wedding didn't center on her. The sister in question snubbed being my maid of honor over a year ago, and just decided to randomly show up. FML
Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML
Today, minutes before I walked down the aisle at my wedding, my drunk mother stumbled up to me and told me she was depressed and wanted to leave. FML
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Top comments
tayza249 20
Mmmm.. Cake
every1luvsboners 11
Don't cut the cake. There's a midget stripper in there with the biggest bawls in the world. Yes I know, don't ask how.
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Comments (79)
fantasyworld 39
Wouldn't the bride and groom cut the cake?