Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
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Top comments
dimkims 0
Eating a burrito makes you "cool"?
DeadMansCrack 4
I fail to see how eating burritos makes you "cool"
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Comments (158)
alex_vik 1
Yep, nothing turns a guy on more than eating a burrito. /sarcasm
Gia0896 0
AHA. YDI
misstragedy 0
You tried to be cool by choking on your burrito? o.o
mister_moops 0
you're so cool you eat burritos
Ecchi_fml 0
Way to keep it classy.
uj_fml 4
Trying to be cool does not equal being cool.
ogloc 0
Biting a burrito? To be "cool"? I pity you.
giganticbrain 0
And you knew for sure they had an eating fetish?
sodahhhr 0
Well, you know what they say, you can lead a horse to water, but make sure it didn't take any laxitives beforehand.
Starchild21 3
What the **** does that have to do with anything??? ____________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
Imawhalerider 0
what the **** does your myspace have to do with anything, are you that lonely?
Starchild21 3
Nope, just feeling the need to share the link and being bored studying. I'm sorry if you equate the Myspace friends list as a determination if you're lonely or not, must suck living your life. FYL ________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
Imawhalerider 0
haha well im very sure im not lonely. if you are saying that you just want to fill up your friend list just sounds a bit weird. wanting to talk to strangers online is a bit like someone who has a lot of time on their hands to talk to strangers, is probably lonely. plus if you are studying lonely go make friends you can talk to by txting.
Starchild21 3
Yeah I do that most of the time I study, but it's something different to make new friends and talk to different personalities, no matter where they live. Btw just to piss you off lol: _________________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
Ucla_cupcake 0
lol I hate how people have to bring unrelated things up. You have your link up there? And? Nothing wrong with that :D
Imawhalerider 0
i guess i cant argue against personal prefrence
Starchild21 3
www.myspace.com/rapid99 If you don't care then mind your own ******* business, because I can still post it if I want
Young_Sparta 0
im sorry, but im going to have to go for you being a troll. i mean think about it, nothing he says relates to anything, not only that, he can piss you off by just putting his myspace profile up there haha i call troll on the myspace guy.
Young_Sparta 0
this is gonna be the most win FML phrase ever.