Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dimkims 0
Eating a burrito makes you "cool"?
DeadMansCrack 4
I fail to see how eating burritos makes you "cool"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (158)
Celice 0
I find it funny how above the comment box it says: "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful." but obviously that's never the case... Anyways, she obviously didn't mean it that way (at least, I hope she didn't), but I spent a good 5 minutes laughing at all the comments on here XD
everydayisFML 0
Yeah, cuz biting a burrito is waaayy cool... lol
skiBOAT 0
"Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito" ...Err. YDI.
mkivsuptt 0
YDI for being such a loser and not knowing how to eat.
annamg 0
"Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito" How is that cool...?
dyingtolive77 0
they are really lowering the standards of cool these days...
Redrosesandrain 0
you tried to be cool... by taking a bite of your burrito? yeah, women eating burritos are just so hot... ydi.
Waffles41687 0
You should have asked them if they would want to get the stuff out of your bra.
madmax14304 1
How is this even an issue? I'm sure he'd lick that sauce off given the opportunity.
Bunnystomper 1
Beef in bra? Udders!