Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML
Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML
Today, I was at a wedding and I reluctantly joined the dance floor. As soon as I started dancing, I felt my trousers rip. Trying to save face, I kept dancing, hoping no one would notice. A few minutes later, I realized my silk boxer shorts were completely visible to the entire party. FML
Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, after a few drinks with some mates at a bar, we were invited to the dancefloor with some girls. After some dancing and flirting, I felt a cheeky squeeze on my backside, and so I quickly returned the favour without looking back. A few minutes later at the bar, I realised my wallet was gone. FML
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Top comments
pewp 5
well, im assuming you are in high school since you went to a dance. so you may not have learned this quite yet, when you rub up on a guy's d*ck, it gets hard. what did you think you were rubbing up on when you were grinding with him? and what do you mean you stood up? were you laying down and grinding?
citylights 0
hhahahahahahahahahah
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Comments (100)
LifeScrewsUsAll 0
haha i get worried about that somewhat. My phone is always in my pocket at dances and such. Awkward?
Superman8_fml 0
#35 wrong. there is is still skill involved in grinding, in the same way there is skill involved in sex. you are probably a horrible lay
wrestler_fml 0
That's what you get for: 1) being stupid, in not knowing that guys will get hard when you grind with them. 2) grinding without knowing the purpose of it, and just mindlessly trying to fit in 3) leading a guy on and then screwing him over at the last moment 4) Thinking you're hot when you're not 5) Not knowing the difference between a phone vibrator and somebodys d*ck getting hard 6) Attempting to look cool at his expense by moving away from him In light of all of this, never go to grind again, unless you are either really hot, or at least you learn the POINT of grinding in the first place! Haha
pmole42088 0
Sweet breakdown 45, good work and for all the girls that are calling the guy an asshole for what he said, clearly she deserved it cuz she prob made a scene by backing up all freaked out and embarrassed the guy.
chaboilenny 0
I disagree with nuber 7, from a guys perspective. Grinding with a beautiful girl is a seriously beautiful thing. Try it, maby you'll have fun too. Now thats a pretty good FML, but some say he's probably lieing. If he was lieing, he wouldn't have said "Don't flatter yourself."
jwoodsutk 0
So, let me get this straight...you rub your ass against a guy's crotch, and you'd be surprised and mad if he got aroused? You know grinding is nothing but dry humping right?
ashley_rogers08 0
i feel everyone saying shes a **** or dancing like a **** is a bit too far. yes, grinding is more sexual then regular dancing.. but it doesnt make you a ****. also, i think its pretty funny how you got worried that he got hard. lets be for real, thats what happens when your ass in on a guys dick. i think the best thing of all is what he said tho.. "dont flatter yourself" lmfao.
xzacharyx 0
#10 dance is a play in california i am pretty sure
bahua 0
What do you mean you stood up? Are you sitting down to grind?
Lou_Briccant 0
This is an FML, why?