Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML
Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML
Today, I was at a wedding and I reluctantly joined the dance floor. As soon as I started dancing, I felt my trousers rip. Trying to save face, I kept dancing, hoping no one would notice. A few minutes later, I realized my silk boxer shorts were completely visible to the entire party. FML
Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, after a few drinks with some mates at a bar, we were invited to the dancefloor with some girls. After some dancing and flirting, I felt a cheeky squeeze on my backside, and so I quickly returned the favour without looking back. A few minutes later at the bar, I realised my wallet was gone. FML
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Top comments
pewp 5
well, im assuming you are in high school since you went to a dance. so you may not have learned this quite yet, when you rub up on a guy's d*ck, it gets hard. what did you think you were rubbing up on when you were grinding with him? and what do you mean you stood up? were you laying down and grinding?
citylights 0
hhahahahahahahahahah
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Comments (100)
cra_z_turtle 0
huh. #7, 36, and 45, well said. especially #7. I didn't know either, #35, but maybe I'm just stupid. :P. you learn something new every day.
Everythinglost 0
I've been in the opposite situation many times. As a drama student, I'm in a musical, specifically as a dancer. I keep my phone on vibrate during rehearsals so the director doesn't hear it ring. During one of the dances, my partner has to sit on my leg at the end of the dance, which requires us to hold the position so that when we have an audience they have time to applaud. In the middle of the dance, my mother decides to call me. My phone buzzes a lot before finally turning off. My partner sits directly on top of it, and then she gasps in shock and I can see her eyes bug out. I had to explain to her-- after she had told her boyfriend.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Did she think you had a vibrating dick?
Moomoomoo_fml 0
Well said #45
weewoo12 0
ok, i have one simple quesition....if ur joe, are u a guy; and if u are a guy, why the hell were u grinding with a guy????
mimblewimble_fml 0
You should have said, "Don't flatter yourself, I didn't think it was as big as your cellphone to begin with."
fuckkkkk_fml 0
#36 is right dont rub your ass up in a guys crotch and expect him not to get hard. it's a tough feat haha.
FritoLovesYou 0
Well of course he got hard.
Rawrrr14 0
LMAO! yyeaahh right. It was "his phone". wow.
Sipos 0
What was he supposed to say? It wasn't his phone.
kira1kira 0
he could have just said it was his phone...