Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, so I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, while at the club, I started dancing with a girl who I had noticed throughout the night. When she turned around she firmly stated, "I'd much rather dance by myself". FML
Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Your girlfriend's a ******* ***** YDI for not going after her
Whininghippo 0
He shouldn't HAVE to make it known that she's taken. She should be able to stand up for herself and be like "I'm here with someone, I'm not a *****-nugget."
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Comments (249)
liah_fml 0
and you just watched as your girlfriend left with some other guy ?!?! you were just standing right beside them !!! what kind of boyfriend are you ??!!! maybe she did it because she was angry that you didnt do anything when the guy was chatting her up ...? she was expecting some manly action from you perhaps ...? YDI for not doing anything !!
plexico 4
YDI for not understanding the basics of man-woman relationships. Even though we are supposedly modern and have this gender equality, we men are still the bigger, stronger sex. Women expect their men to protect them, and not just from wild animals, but any other kind of threat as well. You were a complete MALE FAIL when you let the other man start talking to your woman and doing nothing. You didn't have to be an aggressive ass-kicking dick about it, you should have just make your presence known until he understood she was taken. She was waiting for you to do that. Charles Darwin is smiling in heaven knowing that your pathetic, coward loser genes are going to shrivel up and die with you. Evolution means the human species is better off without failures like you. We all ought to chip in and buy you a blow-up **** doll.
girlygirl666 0
If I saw a guy fighting for a girl who was obviously just a huge ****, I'd laugh at him for being an idiot. The only way to show any self respect in this is to distance himself from her altogether. Even if other people knew they came in together, it would just look to them like he was just with her- no big deal, she's just some ho he knows. Why would you own up to her being your girlfriend after she acts like that. She deserves no respect after that.
plexico 4
How would you feel if your boyfriend suddenly pretended not to know you when some other guy comes up to hit on you? I specifically said that he ddn't need to be an overly aggressive dick. He just needed to insert himself into the conversation and let the guy know she was with him. He shouldn't even have to explain that explicitly.
Intoxicunt 6
"Male fail". Hahaha. I agree with everything you said, though. You should give my mom's boyfriend pointers. WAIT, better idea. You should BE my mom's boyfriend! Darwin isn't in Heaven, ya know. :)
SheriffBart 0
Well put, plexico. I'd only add that women want and like to be told what to do. There's no reason to confront the other guy in the OP's scenario. Simply address the ***** like a man and tell her something along the lines of, "Come on, babe, we're going somewhere a little more private," then escort her back to her place (or yours, if you prefer) for the grudge ******* she so richly deserves.
aback 5
Congrats on losing that STD farm.
cpatrick820 3
I don't care what the rest of these punks say, FYL. You shouldn't have to prove that she's your girlfriend. If she actually gives a shit about you, she would have told him to **** off from the get-go. If this didn't happen, she would have/ maybe already did cheat on you at some time. Your girlfriend is a useless bitch who's going to get the raw end of karma. "Prove you're a man so your girlfriend won't be a selfish *****!" Yeah, that makes sense.
DeathMetal666 0
I'd stab the guy in throat
Skullcrusher 5
You must be a loser.
blue8795 0
Yeah, I'm going to be on of the people in the minority on this issue. I'm a girl and if some guy came and started chatting me up, I'd say, "I'm taken. Go away." Unless I was, you know, a skanky girlfriend who can't do anything for herself. And if she did it to "test" you, doubly good that she's gone. I can't express how much I hate people that try and create tension. I'm taken. Go away. Not that hard. FYL, OP.
zyxwv88 1
Definately FYL. It's her choice who she wants to spend time with, and if she ditched you for him, then that's her decision, and beating the crap out of a guy won't change that. If she was "testing" you, then you don't want that kind of woman anyways. You want someone that has more self confidence and who cares about you for who you are, not whether you can be a neanderthal and beat someone up
McLovinIt 0
Your girl is a ***** ho
plexico 4
You should have asked if you could tag along and play video games while the man sweatily and lustily re-introduced your girlfriend to the male gender. You'd be in luck if he had a PS3 or an Xbox because I'll bet you are a master of one of those systems. I say that because I know for sure that you, sir, have no Wii.
ScaryyMary 14
If he has no Wii... then hii must be a shii!