Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done, I went to zip up, then realized I'd never unzipped. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML
Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML
Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML
Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
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Top comments
superstephen4 5
wow. I can imagine doing that
TheKitsune 0
Don't guys need to... aim? Do you usually just let it flop about while you pee?
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Comments (97)
Ducati45 0
YDI for being a man!, seriously though I would think guys would notice that more than girls?
sadiesykes 0
LMFAO wait WTF what!!!!!!!! CD
boner_93 2
this made me lol out loud.
bio18 1
it made you laugh out loud out loud?
superstephen4 5
Fail.
Norwegian_Wood 4
Ahahahaha, #15. Monk reference? OP well maybe now you'll learn to not get so drunk you can't remember to unzip before you go. Nevertheless, either everyone else was too messed up to notice/remember, or they'll torment you forever. (Or they don't know you. xD)
TempestM 0
omg this comment made me lol :)
Rallred32 20
@93 are you sure it didn't make you lol out loud?
Chfanfiction 0
Let's imagine if I used the argument methods of plexico. This would be my response to this. THIS This is why NOBODY should EVER drink. Because ONE bad thing happened to a person who did it.
fringle 0
Wait what? You are trying to act like plexico? Ummm… Okay. Good luck with that?
gameoverman_fml 0
Wow, that was amazing. I can barely tell the difference. Are you sure you AREN'T plexico?
Chfanfiction 0
He once replied to an FML about a transsexual saying that that was why nobody should EVER wait until marriage to have sex. I was just taking the same logical step.
Chfanfiction 0
Here the whole time. You've just been less of a moron lately.
Pastor_Rich 0
fake, you always have to grab your member and pull it out, and you would've also felt warm urine run down your leg
ohmygoodnex 0
no.
wutupbruh 0
i actually laughed out loud at this. "blah blah blah this is fake"... "no."
dummydory 4
Didn't you feel your leg wet?
kbiz 0
as a girl, I've definitely been really wasted and either a) forgotten to pull down my panties or b) forgotten to lift the lid of the toilet. shit happens. especially when you're drunk
DameGreyWulf 1
Toilet lid got me a few times when I was young and sick and peeing at 3 am. But I thought guys usually held themselves? How could he not notice he wasn't holding anything?
Synnie 0
Same here. And we had that stupid fluffy coating so I got irritated.
redbluegreen 41
Maybe he's a hybrid...
RataBlanca 0
Let it be free! That never happened to me before, though I have some pee-related-to-alcohol stories, some pretty wicked ones.
kira1kira 0
lmao
tori96 0
hardly an FML. thats not that bad everyone does it.
bio18 1
nah, they really don't :-)
jacobs_double 0
but now we know you do...