Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, I walked into the bar to meet my Tinder date and sat down next to him at the bar. Without looking up from his phone, his first words to me were, “Piss off fatty, I’m meeting a hot chick tonight.” I guess he didn’t recognise me with my hair done and in a nice dress. FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, I went out with a guy who, about 20 minutes into our dinner, said, "Wow, you don't sweat much for a fat chick." FML
Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
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Top comments
ZiggyMorrison 0
I personally LOVE small **** and so do alot of guys so dont feel bad about it
dreamingloser 0
hahahaha this guy is laughing at you because he has bigger **** than you? ha that's funny. You should have laughed and said, "yeah chubby, you do", pat his stomach and say "when are you do?" unless he's not that fat..
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Comments (289)
MorlekEngel 0
Like WTF? He made fun of himself, not you! A man is so fat he has breasts? Grow up, at least he can laugh at himself, and didn't assume YOU were gonna hit on him.
LebChickOnFira 0
so what i have small **** and i'm damn proud of it lol
drf610 0
as a fellow fatass, i find it necessary to defend the fat guy. we are, generally, fairly insecure of our own appearance, whether it is "right" or not to be fat, and we try to cover up that particular sensitivity with self-deprecating humor, if we are not mortally offended and therefore house-ridden due to our own fatassness. but that guys just freakin hilarious! sorry u had to witness that, haha
alex_vik 1
Haha, that guy sounds awesome to hang out with.
WildBill1337 0
boob size isnt everything. personally, me and many others dont give a damn about boob size. as long as youve got a fine body, its all good!
rofl_lord 1
Hey, small **** are ace! Worry not!
btuwo 0
just picturing that made me laugh.. fyl for having to be near that tho.
Dillerfar 0
haha this is my exgirlfriend xD and she is SO concious about her breasts... mainly cause thats the only part of her body that isn't model perfect... low selfesteem FTW!
Mr_Positive 3
its probably cause hes fat not cause of anything small about you... he should be the one with an FML so dont worry about it :)
f_ckerdef_ck 0
hahaha if i were you i would high five the guy! : D funny shit