Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, I walked into the bar to meet my Tinder date and sat down next to him at the bar. Without looking up from his phone, his first words to me were, “Piss off fatty, I’m meeting a hot chick tonight.” I guess he didn’t recognise me with my hair done and in a nice dress. FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, I went out with a guy who, about 20 minutes into our dinner, said, "Wow, you don't sweat much for a fat chick." FML
Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
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Top comments
ZiggyMorrison 0
I personally LOVE small **** and so do alot of guys so dont feel bad about it
dreamingloser 0
hahahaha this guy is laughing at you because he has bigger **** than you? ha that's funny. You should have laughed and said, "yeah chubby, you do", pat his stomach and say "when are you do?" unless he's not that fat..
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Comments (289)
tyonclav 0
I've expeirienced this.
tyonclav 0
If it's f anyones life, it's his. It's not normal for people to be able to do that. That's utterly disgusting.
JayFrankus 0
Thts sick
Robinhood_fml 0
#174/kristina3514 I am actually 5'6 so there is no possible way that I can look like a 7 year old boy scout. And way to call skinny people out, psh and I'm the immature one? You need to get a life because you are obviously a 49 year old still living in there parents basement with nothing better to do then this. And also you still never answered my previous question.
AnnieLennox1954 0
Hey girlfrann, you might try going on birth control. Ortho TriCyclen Lo brought me from a B to a C in one month.
kristina3514 0
I did answer it I'm not fat haha I in the weight range, I'm not under weight, but I'm also 7 months pregnant. I'm 27 live with my husband and daughter. Man you totally got me there with the 47 year old living with her parents! Haha you read me like a book. At 5,6 and 105 haha you do most likely look like a 7 year old boy scout ewwie!
letthemxeatcake 0
Tell him he should go get a sex change if he thinks his **** are bigger than yours.
rityz 0
and that little fat f ck is so proud of that?
theunluckyleproc 0
No fat chicks!
ReeNAh 0
He's just jealous because he wishes his boobs were as small as yours. Man boobs are super disgusting!