Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
What's wrong with me?
Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Whassup?
Today, I walked into the bar to meet my Tinder date and sat down next to him at the bar. Without looking up from his phone, his first words to me were, “Piss off fatty, I’m meeting a hot chick tonight.” I guess he didn’t recognise me with my hair done and in a nice dress. FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Thanks?
Today, I went out with a guy who, about 20 minutes into our dinner, said, "Wow, you don't sweat much for a fat chick." FML
This is my annoyed face
Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML
Fishing
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Misleading
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Top comments
ZiggyMorrison 0
I personally LOVE small **** and so do alot of guys so dont feel bad about it
dreamingloser 0
hahahaha this guy is laughing at you because he has bigger **** than you? ha that's funny. You should have laughed and said, "yeah chubby, you do", pat his stomach and say "when are you do?" unless he's not that fat..
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Comments (289)
kimono116 0
well if hes fat..... thats nothing to be proud of. dumbass, hes just making himself look dumb. because men shouldnt have **** bigger than any chicks D:
AloysiusWeasley 15
I would've looked over at him and laughed, and told him that's certainly nothing to brag about...
assa_fml 0
that's more of a 'F his life'.... and not in the funny way :/ besides, chicks with small boobs are usually more attractive than the big boobed ones.
jewelzgalore 0
FHL because it takes a lot of fat to get man boobs bigger than DDs ;)
HeroicDude 0
Big or small, I love 'em all. So baby, give me a call.
Shyman4ever 0
Try eating a little more and your **** will become the perfect size you want em to be
Maidev 0
believe me, smaller boobs are definitely better. i'm gay, and i have Ds, and i think they are gross ): cause they are all like... jiggly and stuff (and i'm not fat either). My girlfriend has smaller boobs and i think smaller ones are firmer and more attractive.
oblong127 0
i don't necessarily mean to defend this guy. i mean, what he said was just plain rude. but for everyone on here to take this opportunity to get all over fat people is equally as rude. is it wrong to be fat? i mean, who does it hurt, other than the person who is fat? honestly. and for everyone who decided to point out that "man-boobs" are wrong, or disgusting or what have you. you're all idiots and stupid. i'd call you ignorant because you lack the information necessary to make the judgment, but your act of making the judgment renders you "stupid." there is a disease called "gynecomastia." look it up. otherwise healthy men develop breast tissue because of high estrogen levels which fool fat cells into "thinking" that they are mammary gland, thus developing "man boobs." not to discount the fact that people that are overweight can develop fatty tissue in their breasts, but to say that they are mutually inclusive is stupid, and beyond ignorant. i am 5'7" and i weigh 175 lbs. judging by my weight ii wouldn't think that i am very overweight, i might be able to lose a few pounds, but it is nothing major and i think that i am in pretty decent shape. but i have "man-boobs" caused by gynecomastia (not my own diagnosis, i consulted a physician), so does this make me disgusting, you may think so, but if you do, you're only showing your own ignorance. not saying that you have to be attracted to overweight people, but calling them the scum of the earth and saying that they are the lowest form of human existence only shows that you are what you call someone (for the stupid people out there, i'm calling you an idiot and saying that YOU are the lowest scum of the earth). soon you idiots may come to realize that personality is what gets you places in the world, whether it be the social world, or what have you. and i'm sorry to say but anyone who has chastised this man for his weight, instead of his horrendous personality, you are no better than he is, and you will go nowhere, have fun spending your miserable life alone, making prejudice remarks against everybody on the internet who doesn't fit you description of perfect.
justanotherhuman 21
...and if he had the smaller chest, I would go home with *him*. I jest. But the point should be emphasized, that there are plenty of folks who not only don't care about chest size, but *prefer* a smaller cup. I suppose breast size is to females what genital size is to men. Some on both sides don't care, some on both sides do. Preferences preferences. I see how this could be either FML or YDI, and how it could neither. But ultimately, is this FYL because you're not obese enough to compete with his chest size, or... YDI because you're not obese enough to compete with his chest size? Either way, this is FHL... not yours.
sheismilesaway 0
Nedern... du skulle ha' givet ham en på siden a hovedet! FUL indeed