Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, I walked into the bar to meet my Tinder date and sat down next to him at the bar. Without looking up from his phone, his first words to me were, “Piss off fatty, I’m meeting a hot chick tonight.” I guess he didn’t recognise me with my hair done and in a nice dress. FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, I went out with a guy who, about 20 minutes into our dinner, said, "Wow, you don't sweat much for a fat chick." FML
Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
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Top comments
ZiggyMorrison 0
I personally LOVE small **** and so do alot of guys so dont feel bad about it
dreamingloser 0
hahahaha this guy is laughing at you because he has bigger **** than you? ha that's funny. You should have laughed and said, "yeah chubby, you do", pat his stomach and say "when are you do?" unless he's not that fat..
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Comments (289)
alexgisforme3 0
that man is a worthless pig. im so sorry :(
Goddamnit_fml 0
No, you deserved it. There you are, putting yourself above him and not wanting to be hit on because he's fat.
Rabyd 0
Ouch, lol. Nothing wrong with small ****, though ;)
Solarblind 0
I don't think you deserved that. He was going to do it anyway, and had no way of knowing your thought process. Personally, I would have thrown my drink on him and left to find a classier bar.
Robinhood_fml 0
kristina3514 you obviously have some issues so maybe try to check yourself into a mental ward and get the help you need. I am being completly serious and i hope you get better soon. So best of luck. Oh yeah you could also try a insane asylum, it is your choice though. PEACE OUT BRAINSICK MA'AM.
fmah_life 0
It's about quality and not the size, plus a girl could have a smokin body without having big boobs.
Dynasty924 0
Not true, if you have no tit's you will never have a smoking body fmah_life.
hellFighter 0
Honestly most guys are indifferent about boobs whatsoever. It's really the body/face that makes the girl
regalarius 0
Smaller is better. No FML here! (that fat guy sounds amusing though)
jetstream417 0
Glad he didn't hit on you. Fat people are gross. Not FYL at all though. You should have just laughed and been like "Yes, yes they are fatass, go exercise and stop eating cheetos you fat fak"