Animals: Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 681

You deserved it 5 350

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Same thing different taste

Mystery

By mugged - 01/06/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 253

You deserved it 4 710

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 357

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 581

You deserved it 932

Bee Movie 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 13:01 - United States - Steele

Today, my "friends" who know very well that I am terrified of bees forced me to face my fears, despite my protesting. As my "friends" watched and laughed while I tried to keep calm, a wasp showed up and scared me half to death, thereby angering the other bees. My face looked like a giant raspberry after the fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 117

By Wet Britches - 24/11/2016 01:32 - United States - Portland

Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 674

You deserved it 1 574

By skunked - 18/06/2013 18:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 385

You deserved it 7 066

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 769

You deserved it 10 785

By xacked - 02/06/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 431

You deserved it 61 643

Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 144

By RENThead - 13/09/2015 19:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 859

You deserved it 1 594

awzmness 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:13

what the ****?

higz 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:19

Norbert or Daggett?

Comments

DatingScaresMe 2

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:32

If only you were a man and the comment metaphorical.

mdog1114 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:34

that's chuckalicious

camjgog_88 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:36

somehow I don't think this has to do w/animals lol

zemo999 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:38

gee Ward, you were pretty hard on the Beaver last night!!

Tmoney541 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:44

Hahahahahahah

chevonfinley 8

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:44

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!!!

FirstBornUnicorn 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:51

She was amBushed by a beaver. lol

MangoFruit 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:52

haha lol:)

GaryBusey1121 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:53

OMG you don't have eyes!!!! where are your eyes

imsogangster13 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:55

hahaha . this made me chucklee :D

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 934

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 847

You deserved it 635

The Top

Today, I realized that sometimes I forget to turn off my desk light when I leave the room for dinner. I also learned that said desk light can get hot enough to melt plastic, which is why my brand-new laptop screen was literally oozing onto the table top when I got back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 744

You deserved it 12 857

Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 075

You deserved it 4 072

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 095

You deserved it 3 107

Today, we'd booked a spot for 20 people for my grandma's birthday. Turns out the reservation didn't go through. Now 20 people are waiting inside and outside for a group of old people to finish eating. They just barely got their food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 762

You deserved it 568

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 973

You deserved it 8 324

Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 1 459