Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
asimplesharpie 7
Incoming shitstorm.
SammyS2012 21
It's the Hunger Games: Hospital Edition.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
stacey_92 12
you should make a schedule with the other girls, maybe that would work out a bit
lo_and_behold 11
I think it may be hard to schedule bathroom times when they're all three taking laxatives. I'm pretty sure the shit's going to hit the fan, floor, bed, wall...
skyeyez9 25
What about a bathroom in the hall? Its a hospital, there has to be other bathrooms. Ask the nurse to move you to another room.
finch01 18
hope u finsh frist this is one
DDalton 14
Give each other Cleveland Steamers!
perdix 31
Are you sure you are in a hospital, and not on the set of a reality TV show for the Scat Network? Do your meal choices include Boston Pancakes and Alabama Hot Pockets?
dramasmiles 9
Have the nurses bring in two bedside commodes. Problem solved!!!
x420hypersniperx 6
Welcome to the bowel games
Easybeats 10
Woah. How was it? :b
GhostDuck 30
:!WARNING!: Impending shitstorm. Threat level: category 3. :!WARNING!:
ordonblade46 3
That is shitty