Health: Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation....

By shatMyself - 22/04/2013 19:10 - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 506

You deserved it 3 429

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 546

You deserved it 4 037

Do not attempt this at home

By Poopy - 02/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 487

By Anonymous - 08/12/2010 02:38 - United States

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 596

You deserved it 3 526

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 582

You deserved it 5 944

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 748

You deserved it 3 078

States of matter

By Nirah - 27/07/2019 06:00 - Canada - Parksville

Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 070

You deserved it 175

By blehh - 14/04/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 307

You deserved it 54 687

By screaming monkey - 04/04/2012 10:13 - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 312

You deserved it 2 124

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 13/11/2020 02:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 436

By firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 942

You deserved it 383

asimplesharpie 7

Tuesday 23 April 2013 0:40

Incoming shitstorm.

SammyS2012 21

Tuesday 23 April 2013 0:41

It's the Hunger Games: Hospital Edition.

Comments

stacey_92 12

Tuesday 23 April 2013 3:21

you should make a schedule with the other girls, maybe that would work out a bit

lo_and_behold 11

Tuesday 23 April 2013 4:17

I think it may be hard to schedule bathroom times when they're all three taking laxatives. I'm pretty sure the shit's going to hit the fan, floor, bed, wall...

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 23 April 2013 3:29

What about a bathroom in the hall? Its a hospital, there has to be other bathrooms. Ask the nurse to move you to another room.

finch01 18

Tuesday 23 April 2013 3:31

hope u finsh frist this is one

DDalton 14

Tuesday 23 April 2013 3:32

Give each other Cleveland Steamers!

perdix 29

Tuesday 23 April 2013 4:00

Are you sure you are in a hospital, and not on the set of a reality TV show for the Scat Network? Do your meal choices include Boston Pancakes and Alabama Hot Pockets?