Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
Today, I bought a Halloween fog machine to make my front yard look spooky. I didn’t realize it would set off my house's fire alarm when I tested it before putting it on the front porch. I ended up outside in full costume while firefighters checked my “haunted” house. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
Today, my neighbour from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML
Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML
Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML
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Top comments
extremereviews 26
At least you know your neighbors care about you
tigerisabelle 31
You're pissed cause it ruined the romantic atmosphere, but at least if there ever was a fire, you'd be safe. I don't think they did anything wrong, how were they to know you were lighting torches?
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Comments (103)
ice2eskimos 3
You really thought it was a good idea to have flames and smoke in your bedroom? The neighbour did you a favor. Next time you have a bright idea and your curtains set on fire, I'm sure your neighbour won't bother to call 911
amused4u 7
your neighbor could of just saved your life. be grateful
MissMarjori3 10
I think it really depends where you had these torches lit. I think your neighbors were great for looking out for you.
drowningfishy 7
Fire TENDS to have smoke. You said it yourself right there. The other night my brother was awoken by his neighbors fire alarm going off. Nothing unusual, no smoke in the hall of their apartment building. Taking no chances brothers fiance got on the phone called 911 as my brother pounded on the door. Long story short as their neighbor was making food she fell asleep and the food was on fire and her apartment was full of smoke. She ended up on suicide watch the fire department said it was just short of spreading past the kitchen. You cannot just assume anything when it comes to fire. My brother and his fiance just had a little girl at the beginning of this year. Add on the other families that would have been displaced or hurt if the apartment went up. Don't get angry at your neighbors.
middlenamefrank 8
Personally, if I saw something like that in a neighbor's window, I wouldn't start looking for smoke. But I'd sure as hell POUND ON THE DOOR first, before calling the fire department.
ISlangWang 7
Wth that just shows your neighbors got your back? Why would you have open flames in your house that are that big anyways
limabeans101029 21
There's already loads of comments pointing this out, but OP lives in the UK where a "torch" is what you would call a flashlight (I think). It's not an open flame.
soulreaper12296 28
At least that shows they actually pay attention and you can depend on them if there ever is an actual fire.
trashbag4lyfe 1
does anyone else see the irony in this with her username and the situation?
j_cat187 20
did the fireman put your fire out?
syed121417 22
I'm going to give OP the benefit of the doubt and say that if they are calling the neighbors dickheads, they probably have done something before to cause that negativity. If not, then I don't understand why you would be mad at them for calling the cops when they thought something was wrong. If you see fire in someone's house, you don't think "oh they must be having kinky sex". People would obviously think something was wrong. And, OP, I understand you wanted to spice things up, but there are other ways. I don't blame your neighbors because they were concerned. YDI, op. Or you couldn't closed the curtains