Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
Today, I bought a Halloween fog machine to make my front yard look spooky. I didn’t realize it would set off my house's fire alarm when I tested it before putting it on the front porch. I ended up outside in full costume while firefighters checked my “haunted” house. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
Today, my neighbour from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML
Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML
Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML
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Top comments
extremereviews 26
At least you know your neighbors care about you
tigerisabelle 31
You're pissed cause it ruined the romantic atmosphere, but at least if there ever was a fire, you'd be safe. I don't think they did anything wrong, how were they to know you were lighting torches?
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Comments (103)
metalcrazed 21
I don't understand why you are calling them names. They are good neighbors who tried to help you,even if it wasn't a real fire it's wrong to insult them.
MaryPoppins88 14
Hey at least you have neighbors that watch out for you
typical_girl_ 19
Just stick to what you know
mylifesF 15
The people worrying about your welfare and safety are dickheads? Yep, that sounds about right.
_lyssiii_ 20
at least they care about you
sharond23 10
so youre complaining that your neighbors were nice enough to care. wow