Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
It's getting hot in here…
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
Cursed
Today, I bought a Halloween fog machine to make my front yard look spooky. I didn’t realize it would set off my house's fire alarm when I tested it before putting it on the front porch. I ended up outside in full costume while firefighters checked my “haunted” house. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
What's going on?
Today, my neighbour from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML
Slick move
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML
Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
Sexy time
Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML
Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML
Top comments
extremereviews 26
At least you know your neighbors care about you
tigerisabelle 31
You're pissed cause it ruined the romantic atmosphere, but at least if there ever was a fire, you'd be safe. I don't think they did anything wrong, how were they to know you were lighting torches?
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Comments (103)
spcrocker 4
They got mad because they didn't get any action from each other so they had to ruin your sexual tension.
MzZombicidal 36
More like they caused sexual tension. Also, OP, get over it. Lol. I'd rather be **** blocked rather than burned!
feven 32
Well you definitely spiced things up.
fordneagles 34
I'd definitely prefer them to call when I didn't need them to than not call when I did need them to... I realise your moment was ruined but calling them dickheads just for looking out for you is a bit harsh OP.
Axel5238 29
If I saw a neighbors place on the inside glowing orange and it looked like it was from a flickering flame I wouldn't wait to see smoke I'd call 911. Terrible neighbors caring about your health and safety and all. If it was an actual fire by the time the smoke got that bad someone may have passed out from inhaling smoke. YDI
XxDevilxXGt 26
So anytime you see a glowing orange light you call the fire department? Let's leave the outrageous deductions to Sherlock, or people who aren't impulsive. Also very logical, you would think someone breathing in smoke would realize there is a fire in their house before they pass out, or that a fire detector would be active? Oh yeah.. and it's near Halloween, you should also probably expect more orange colored things, orange light aren't new. On the other hand maybe you guys don't watch enough Sherlock.
stonedfly3 15
Or maybe they inhaled smoke while sleeping? I think you're the one jumping to conclusions here "Sherlock". Calling emergency services is for when an emergency is perceived. It is THEIR job to investigate, not the general public. If I saw something warranting calling emergency services, I would. I'm not going to waste time determining "what if it's people having sex" when there could be a potential death involved. Not to mention that these were neighbours. Maybe they didn't want their own house burning down because their neighbours was on fire. Here in Australia smoke detectors are mandatory - but that doesn't mean they always work. Unfortunately too many people die here from faulty smoke detectors. I seriously hope you're nowhere near me if I'm in an emergency situation and instead of calling for help you're too busy playing or watching Sherlock. And for the record, Sherlock never made assumptions without strong evidence to back it up. To assume makes and ass out of you and me.
Brandi_Faith 34
53 is completely right. If it was at night and they were sleeping and their fire detectors weren't working than they could easily die of smoke inhalation or by the time they wake up the fire has blocked their exit. I personally agree with 53 and feel it's better to call 911 if you think there's an emergency than to just not call and have someone die; as 53 said, it is their job. As they say, it really is better to be safe than sorry!
Axel5238 29
Check the Fml it was a halloween torch, lots of those are made to look like flames flickering and at a distance may be hard to recognize. Also, Sherlock frequently based his assumptions on logical observations. Clearly, "Sherlock" you are not. Not my fault your age and IQ are the same numbers.
XxDevilxXGt 26
"Sherlock never made assumptions without backing it up." So I can't make an assumption that things are ok, but you can make an assumption that there must be a fire just by seeing a flickering light inside a house and not backing that up? Hypocrisy is wonderful. I understand "better safe than sorry", but clearly you didn't read my point about calling the neighbors, or going over to the house immediately to check, and having a phone on you? And to add to that, I would bring over a fire extinguisher if I really wanted to be a good samaritan. And if there's a possibility they are inhaling smoke while sleeping, you would sit there and watch while the fire department arrives too late? Also, you realize the fire department can't teleport right? calling the fire department and letting them "handle things" while a house is burning on the inside and not doing anything about that, seems very good of you all, bravo, you deserve an applause. If my IQ matches my age, yours must be a magnitude less than yours. Pulling an IQ joke.. look I'm so smart.
Axel5238 29
Cute kid, but lots of halloween lights are made to resemble fire, torches and cast the same lighting and shadows. From far away it may be hard to tell. You honestly think if you thought the place was on fire possibly big enough to be noticed from a near by house running over with a fire extinguisher is a good idea? You've lost this argument get over it. You get treated like an idiot for acting like a dick and an idiot in all your responses.
oatgoblin 7
more like pumpkin spice things up amirite
ostfaiz 18
theme sex is always at your own risk Op, hope u were not embarrased ;)
SystemofaBlink41 27
Wait, so would they be nice if they let your house burn down? Or is '********' a relative term here? Sort of like, "Oh, that ********, Larry!" while you roll your eyes playfully?
iAisu 7
Yikes. Sorry that happened OP! Hopefully next time you'll be able to get a romanic evening without your neighbors being nosy.
ostfaiz 18
* romantic
iAisu 7
Whoops! XD It happens. :P Typo! So people give you thumbs down for a typo? 030
MzZombicidal 36
I'm assuming you got thumbs down for calling the neighbors nosy. They were trying to help when they though her home was on FIRE. I'd love my neighbors to "nosy" in that case.
TomeDr 25
Let me get this straight: you put TORCHES in your bedroom? TORCHES...INSIDE your house. Good grief!
acerredrum 23
OP is from the UK. Torches are flashlights.
TomeDr 25
Ah. Got it. I had a HORRIBLE visual there.
jake238 9
What's Halloween?
Hiktmae 20
Where you from? Do you celebrate anything during this month where you live? I'll gladly tell you what it is
MzZombicidal 36
If you honestly don't know, you could easily look it up online. Just a suggestion.