Kids: Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter...

By wtfmama - 04/05/2013 12:51 - United States - Hudson

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 174

You deserved it 11 240

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Same thing different taste

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 814

You deserved it 6 585

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 12:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 686

You deserved it 529

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 902

You deserved it 5 030

By gloomy - 15/08/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 796

You deserved it 804

By mcase - 31/07/2012 05:36 - United States - Compton

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 220

You deserved it 4 981

By anonymous - 04/04/2013 22:52 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 737

You deserved it 4 182

Don't worry dad

By Anonymous - 02/02/2020 18:00

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 243

You deserved it 499

By leeceetaylor99 - 15/07/2013 16:47 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 849

You deserved it 3 879

By jazz - 22/01/2010 08:11 - France

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 287

You deserved it 5 754

By mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 239

You deserved it 6 678

Welshite 39

Saturday 4 May 2013 19:02

Smart kid. She seems like the responsible sort.

flockz 19

Saturday 4 May 2013 19:03

scotch tape isn't safe enough. as her mother i hope you suggested duct tape.

Comments

01Ben21 10

Sunday 5 May 2013 0:10

. Kids these days

xcam1995 6

Sunday 5 May 2013 0:35

That girl is awesome! She deserves some ice cream.

Elfkid21 19

Sunday 5 May 2013 1:02

You HAVE to give her credit. She IS thinking about being safe before doing ANYTHING!!!

toaster012 17

Sunday 5 May 2013 1:09

This is hilarious. Lol

lolaroxie 12

Sunday 5 May 2013 1:24

Collegegurl 12

Sunday 5 May 2013 1:29

She has more sense with protection than most adults! Lol

wiki_harmonixxx 3

Sunday 5 May 2013 2:21

Lol cute

Jlow17 4

Sunday 5 May 2013 2:29

Wow lmao I'm sorry man but this made my day

FMLbutYDI 17

Sunday 5 May 2013 2:36

Kids are so dumb now. When I was 11, I don't remember being that dumb.

SMHsohard 22

Sunday 5 May 2013 2:47

Trust me, you were.

Ziggy122 15

Sunday 5 May 2013 21:52

For an 11-year-old, I'd say she's pretty smart to think about "protection"...

FMLbutYDI 17

Monday 6 May 2013 4:00

I didn't think of that.

Smoxxii 17

Sunday 5 May 2013 5:07

At least she's thinking about her health and how her choices socially could effect her health and mental state. :)

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The Top

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 270

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 263

You deserved it 2 123

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 23 797

You deserved it 35 476

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 212

You deserved it 5 099

Today, I was fired from my local animal shelter. I was a volunteer and am currently in school for veterinary technology. My education made the paid staff at the shelter feel threatened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 153

Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 715

You deserved it 289

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 786

You deserved it 3 740

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out I’m a firstborn. My last boyfriend broke up with me because my hair blows in my face when the car window is down, and the one before that broke up with me because I only sleep with one pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 189

Same thing different taste

Don't worry dad

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