By retromermaid - 10/09/2014 00:16 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I received a package in the mail. It was a workout and weight-loss plan that I ordered last week. I finished an entire pizza and pint of ice-cream as I read the guidelines. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 793
You deserved it 35 468

retromermaid tells us more.

Update: I have started the plan today, and it's been a great workout and a good meal plan so far. Thanks for the support and laughs!

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tacopandaroo 12

You can always start tomorrow.

No mortal can withstand the powerful temptations of pizza.


tacopandaroo 12

You can always start tomorrow.

The problem with that philosophy with some people is it is always tomorrow lol

This working out thing doesn't seem to be working out

omgitsmoe 26

I can't even finish an entire pizza , how the fuck did you do it?

Allornone 35

Procrastinators unite... tomorrow!

And a pint of ice cream too?! I might be able to somewhat work on a whole pizza if it's a small and I'm super super hungry but to have a pint of Ice cream with it too?! Damnnn

martin8337 35

Or next week.

MichellinMan 20

I could finish a medium pizza in an hour, it's not too hard. Now if it was a large.... Well... Shit....

i can finish a large by myself...course i am a starving college student

There is no such thing as tomorrow. Today is always a better motive.

A date is better really than always tomorrow. And a plan. "Monday the 15th September I start my new diet and exercise plan. I can have a day off exercising each Tuesday, I can have up to 500 extra calories on a Saturday.". A plan with built in easy days stops you from cheating. If one day you can have a portion of nice ice cream, or drinks with friends without guilt, if you do end up eating a pint of ice cream, it's just one day, not a reason to give up.

Planing on calorie intake and exercise can be very difficult, most people give up on that route. Though, it shows results the fastest. Just monitor yourself. Don't eat because you are bored eat because you're hungry, and only eat what you need. Also, eating light amounts of food throughout the day speeds up your metabolism. I like to eat lightly throughout the day and exercise once or twice a week, I would exercise more, but I don't have that much time. Either way you choose, the important part is that you want to lose weight, and you're actually taking steps towards that. Don't give up!

I can understand finishing a whole pizza,but how did you eat a whole pint of ice cream ?

OP if you ate all that while reading the guidelines without even realising, you really do need that diet plan..

Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

You can still be fat-letic.

Good luck to you

No mortal can withstand the powerful temptations of pizza.

Very true, but you can always make a "healthier" pizza if that's possible.

Good thing OP is a mermaid

The trick is to savor the pizza and string it out over a few meals

Who cares? Always can start "tomorrow"

badluckalex 23

why are there quotation marks around tomorrow?

MrBoredomioo 18

It's a standard Internet joke about people losing weight, where they keep putting off starting until tomorrow because they want to keep eating pizza, ice cream , doughnuts, etc.

Nope. No joke, let alone an Internet joke. Just pathetic is what it is.

You'll start tomorrow

It'll be worth it. Bad food is like an addiction, it gets easier.

It's a motivation ;)

It would be, if op was trying to gain weight

It's a motivation to train it off, dumbass..

OK so you had a bunch of food . Don't let that stop you from setting goals of working out and eating healthy. If you fall off the wagon from time to time, just get back on track the next day. Baby steps in the right direction is better than no steps at all. Best of luck to you, OP!

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Exactly. Don't try to cut everything out, that's just asking to cheat and then you'll give up out of discouragement. You can still eat junk - just in moderation! And if it makes you feel better, you could always do 50 squats or crunches after you eat something you're "not supposed to."

Sometimes it's a lot harder than "just eat healthy and exercise!!" Reading this makes me wonder if OP has an eating disorder. Binge eating is a mental illness that usually requires both therapy and doctors to manage weight loss and cholesterol levels and so on.. Even if I'm reading too much into this OP, I hope you can lose weight fairly easily & you're able to keep it off.

There are actual articles that sustain the idea that, in order to prevent heart diseases, a healthy diet is comparatively less important than regular physical activities... so even if you keep on "cheating" or eating some junk, just don't skip your workouts.

I agree with #29. If I want a cookie, I eat one. I just don't buy junk food at the grocery store anymore. So I have to go out and buy a cookie (not a package of cookies) when I want it. It's a good deterrent, 6 months in I weigh 25 pounds less with only a moderate change in diet. It's sustainable.

Someone clogged the toilet