Kids: Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend...

By piece of shed - 31/08/2011 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 238

You deserved it 3 500

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Same thing different taste

By loser - 20/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 688

You deserved it 637

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 783

You deserved it 6 163

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 12:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 687

You deserved it 529

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 545

You deserved it 48 181

By KayyElOh94 - 17/10/2014 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 713

You deserved it 3 803

Collateral damage

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 05:01

Today, my sweet, nonviolent boyfriend found out my daughter's asshole boyfriend had hit her, so he rugby-tackled him so hard, it ripped the door right out of the frame and into the garden. I never knew he had it in him, so I'm proud, but now we've got to fix the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 328

You deserved it 374

Yuck.

By bdsam - 23/01/2018 06:00

Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 400

You deserved it 1 251

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 708

You deserved it 5 756

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 089

You deserved it 3 059

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 21:59

Today, I was supposed to be meeting my daughter's boyfriend, but my wife has locked me in the basement until he leaves, so there’s no chance of me tormenting the boy. Quite wise on her part, I had all kinds of evil ideas, but now I’m locked in here, I’m bored as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 2 514

crabbyabby718 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:47

Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol

jbird1193 3

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:46

What a bozo.

Comments

SoccerDrew 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:21

That's my girl!

absolutegrrr 7

Wednesday 31 August 2011 21:03

except it's not?

oops_im_fucked 8

Thursday 1 September 2011 18:34

Could be

zoPwNAgEzo 21

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:23

FYL? more like FHL.

OfficeNinja 5

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:23

should have posted a photo on his facebook page!

allyouneedis9 7

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:26

Pics or it did not ******* happen. There's just no reasonable way. Ugh, My brain!

caresquared 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:39

Agreed

abby713 5

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:27

That's fabulous!

twinny_sc 13

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:31

He's obviously a wizard.

captainfalcon7 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:34

he's Ronald McDonald!

stacianichole 2

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:36

Wow.

hairguitarhero 5

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:40

Haha that's some funny shit! Sounds more like FHL though! But, in all seriousness, just leave him there.

jcranfield8 1

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:47

One of the best things I've read In a long time. I would have cried with laughter and given my daughter a HUGE HUG!!!

Keywords

Relatable Students Work Mental health Parenting Kids Awkward Embarrassing Love Family Intimacy Wanker AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Cops Cars Transportation Sex Sexism Health Growing old Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 853

You deserved it 7 894

Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 662

You deserved it 161

The Top

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 410

You deserved it 4 384

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 880

You deserved it 2 791

Today, I got into THE party of the year. Too bad it was the party my daughter was throwing while her father and I were out of town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 218

You deserved it 5 595

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 828

You deserved it 6 712

Today, my wife and I finally had the house to ourselves as the kids are away. With all the buildup of a date night after the troubles we've been having, I thought this was the chance to get us back on track. She's asleep on the sofa at 8:30pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 239

You deserved it 399

Today, my boyfriend told me we were going on a trip to Venice. Seeing my reaction, he immediately added : “But don’t get excited, you're not getting a ring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 102

Same thing different taste

Collateral damage

Yuck.

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

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