Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML
Today, I came to the decision that I needed some variety in my life, so I decided to get a haircut. My mom insisted that she could do it and that she had experience because she cuts my dad's short hair. I had thick, long hair. Now, my hair is uneven, ugly and short. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML
Today, I arrived home, having just had my long hair cut and my beard shaved. My idiot daughter’s reaction when she saw me? “Who are you and how did you get in the house?” FML
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Top comments
Zman2017 18
The name! He's kinda right though
CallMeWindSock 24
Or she's envious of penises.
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Comments (75)
cdalton 12
Girls with short hair can be very sexy... just saying.
Alittlebunny 3
Is no one going to mention her tag name lol
amberv61 22
A couple of people already mentioned it
cryssycakesx3 23
about 18 comments ago...
torbey 23
**** Freud.
martin8337 36
Sinead O'Connor. Just saying.
romzfml 9
jessie j
AnalSpelunking 19
You have a funny dad
Laidbackmofo 13
One of the most interesting theories sigmund Freud created was penis envy
cutebutterfly12 4
Why do men make everything that doesn't have anything to do with their penis suddenly about their penis?
sweetnsourrr 11
Its a joke, chill out and he was basically said she wanted a penis.
cutebutterfly12 4
My original statement still stands. Joke or not. Her new short haircut doesn't have anything to do with his penis.
cryssycakesx3 23
his comment didn't have anything to do with his penis either...
Azellia 15
Just looking through the comments I'm noticing how every comment about people liking long hair better or not liking short hair on girls is down-voted.
sweetnsourrr 11
Its because some people are sensitive about it and don't like people telling them what to do with their hair or can't accept that some people just dont share the preference. It's okay to have a preference just don't tell people what to do with their own hair, its just hair it's grows back...lol.
sweetnsourrr 11
Share the SAME preference*
worldclassrager 41
That's a little awkward...
chrisstachon 30
Psychology's great!