Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
boombangboi 3
Time to leave and never return.
Jabberwockyy 13
I hate spiders so that would creep me out so much.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (221)
SAWS1992 6
fire fire fire omg get a blow torch!!!! let no spider go untouched. the more you kill the less evil in the world.... :D on serious note id prob would grab fire (matches lighter dont care which) and start attacking...
JazNim17 18
Hot water works better...and won't burn down your house. It kills them instantly. Spiders get in my bathtub all the time, that's how I deal with them.
worldclassrager 39
I've done that before...that's a fun one...
Kstruggles 15
Why did I read the comments?!?! I now have the hebe-gebies.
RoseCrystal 17
My nightmare......oh God... KILL THEM WITH FIRE!!
otaku_videogames 1
Hey! you stole this from me! this didn't actually happen to this kid, he's a liar.
Kally_Naryce 3
**** nope. Nope nope. Hell nope. NOPE
Wild_Marco 13
I think I would cry if this happened to me... Not to mention probably use some sort of spray to get rid of all of the babies as well. GL with living with spiders that you know of!
BunkBeds 9
it's weird how every comment is basically repeating the one before i.e burning the house down, time to move, and how spiders aren't a big deal. Of the first guy said it's a stupid fear and everyone hated him, why would you say the same. makes no difference. for shame
lmf5292 10
I HATE spiders with a passion and the same thing happened to me in my garage. I ran around in a panic trying to squish as many as I could until I finally gave up and ran away. Needless to say I didn't go back in there for a long time...
BunkBeds 9
I rest my case
imamaniac 4
have fun OP