Today, I tried an herbal tea that is supposed to increase your milk supply (I'm a breastfeeding mom). Well, it worked, and it kicked in at my office, but only on one side. So when I went into the bathroom, I noticed I had one boob WAY higher and bigger than the other. Great. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML
Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
Today, after a 3-day induced delivery for my twins, and after getting stitches down there, I woke up to boobs that are the size of footballs, and still no milk coming out. The pain of chopping them off at this point would be more bearable. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML
Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML
Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML
Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I'd caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML
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Top comments
perfectwinds 0
Haha! The same thing happened to me, but someone else pointed it out before I noticed.
Bored_2_Death 0
You're an idiot. The H is silent and you use "an" when there is a vowel sound.
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Comments (108)
pfunk129 1
get yourself some black coffee.
FarSide 22
Get some Oreos and STFU.
ruby84 1
LOL You need to see a doctor. That's not supposed to happen honey.
jasonsaied 1
LAST!!
linamerri 0
you fail
pottie69 0
nice English, an herbal tea?
cybermolly10 7
This was posted by an American, and in America the "h" is silent in "herbal". We also say, "It's an honor," not, "It's a honor."
quikwit1212 0
55: Yes, it was nice English, and perfectly correct too. Moron. Don't criticize others' English when you didn't even capitalize your sentence.
randomaccountnam 0
YDI for saying "an herbal".
Howulikeit 0
cultural ignorance ftw
Bawvie 1
You fail. Look at #58.
f_alltheirlives 3
No need to cry...
YouSeriouslySuck 0
uh if you're breastfeeding isn't your baby really young and shouldn't you not be working?? fake.
YouSeriouslySuck 0
also if you can leave your kid and they don't need breastmilk they are probably like seven. or they have a bottle though if they're old enough to have a bottle then they don't need breastmilk. my nephew quit before he was even one.
demomanX 0
pics please?
epound28 0
^^ that's what i'm saying.
okieraider71 4
There is a guy in Jersey selling human breastmilk cheese. Perhaps.....
xxkiwixx5623_fml 0
So feed your kid. What are you doing at work when you are nursing a baby anyway?