Today, I tried an herbal tea that is supposed to increase your milk supply (I'm a breastfeeding mom). Well, it worked, and it kicked in at my office, but only on one side. So when I went into the bathroom, I noticed I had one boob WAY higher and bigger than the other. Great. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML
Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
Today, after a 3-day induced delivery for my twins, and after getting stitches down there, I woke up to boobs that are the size of footballs, and still no milk coming out. The pain of chopping them off at this point would be more bearable. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML
Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML
Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML
Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I'd caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML
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Top comments
perfectwinds 0
Haha! The same thing happened to me, but someone else pointed it out before I noticed.
Bored_2_Death 0
You're an idiot. The H is silent and you use "an" when there is a vowel sound.
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Comments (108)
ScaryyMary 14
I'm down for anything "herbal", if you get my drift.
dynky 3
If you were recently pregnant, your body probably looks like shit anyway.
katmandont 0
I preferred the left one.... oh, you meant her child
katmandont 0
OP Invest in a breast pump (or some kinky person who likes to indulge in breast milk...) to even it out.
katmandont 0
Blah! I like my women like I like my tea. Bitter and Cold.
Gymnastman 0
I don't really see why this is a bad thing but if you don't like it stop drinking the tea and you should be fine.
sinkships82 0
I'm breastfeeding too; totally empathize! I've tried Traditional Medicinals
hawkloverr 0
ha, that sucks. When I was breastfeeding, one morning I woke and for some reason one boob (the one that is usually but not noticeably smaller) had totally lost its supply, while the other was very, very full. So I basically had one C cup and one A cup. it was weird.
zachhasse 0
I want to be a moderator