Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to Pizza Hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick up a few things from the store for him while he was at work. After picking up everything he asked for, I wasn't left with much money so I used $50 from my account. When he got home he then grumbled about me spending all of "his" money. FML
Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML
Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
RebekahBrooke 9
wow. your boyfriend sucks.
hott15 0
Walk out and leave him stranded with the bill. Then when he freaks out about it say "Oh sorry I didn't want the car to get cold."
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Comments (197)
kira74 6
You must have been in the bathroom for a while if he had time to eat all your food...
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Maybe OP's guy is a human trash receptacle and all he has to do is open wide and slide the dish down his chute, plate and all.
kidwiththeface42 7
This is the real reason women have eating disorders, their fatshit boyfriends take all the food. This is gonna get buried so bad lol.
ikickgingers 15
All fmls lately are about expensive restaurants. Wtf happened to the dollar menu?
SteelCladAngel 0
People like to do something classy once in a while...
krazy_glu3 0
They shouldn't. Look what happens... Things go wrong and they end up on FML.
ikickgingers 15
48 - what is this "classy" you speak of?? :)
MissBunnyWillEat 11
Thank you, 53. I ******* needed to know that. It totally pertains to the FML. I see it now. Holy ****, I lack imagination.
MissBunnyWillEat 11
****!!! My comments are getting thrown everywhere. Fuckity **** ****. Start thumbing me down, bitches.
ikickgingers 15
57 - you lost me, but I thumbed you up because you said Fuckity.
jayfishing 0
Miss bunny are u really that hot or are u some 40 year old man addicted to the Internet? Thats what pertains to the fml
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Have you seen the asses on McDonald's frequent clientele? Looks like somebody stuffed their pants with McDoubles.
tmmundy 17
57...Don't worry. My fuckity comments have been ending up in unknown places as well. lol. Heck, this one may not even go to the right place either. lol
mea_iloveskiing 26
Please someone write "dump his ass" asap! :D
immaabeast 8
Dump his ass! ;)
CryMoreFMLs 15
You kinda did already..
iAmScrubs 19
If you're anything like me, you spend an hour in the bathroom doing something that should take two minutes. We both need to go to rehab for playing too much of the Family Feud App.
kidwiththeface42 7
I'm usually blowing up this app, but point proven.
deviable 9
He's a quick thinker AND a quick eater.
Gigglebear 9
Lesson one - go to the bathroom before your food arrives. Lesson two - treat your boyfriend to that expensive dinner the next time you get paid, not when you're running out of money.
every1luvsboners 11
Good move on his part. He's trying to maintain a slender girlfriend while at the same time being an obnoxious pig. I applaud this man if he's still getting BJ's from you.
HomelessMuslim 0
About that ******* boners...
bubo_fml 11
Payback's a...
liiina101 3
WOW