Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the three books. FML
Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I'd booked a day off work so I could sit and read books all day. I told my wife this, and her response was basically, "Well since you're at home not doing anything important, here’s a list of jobs that need doing." I wasn’t aware enjoying reading counted as doing nothing important. FML
Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML
Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML
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Top comments
ManInTheMachine 20
Dammit redbluegreen! You edited your comment and now I look like an idiot.
Snafuusmc 12
IT'S A TRAP!
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Comments (134)
KevinFlynn 13
the lady knows what she wants and isn't getting it from you. read the book and see what she likes
missd420 16
Fifty shades actually started as a twilight fan fiction. FYL
worldclassrager 41
Couldn't you try to drive her off the book?
1two3four5six 23
that book is nothing similar to actual bdsm. that's just an abusive violent relationship that they describe in the book.
ginger196 14
plagiarism of twilight?
ginamori77 7
that has nothing to do with twilight
greatfirstdate 18
The book started as a Twilight fan fiction, and the author used Search and Replace on all the names. She replaced vampirism with BDSM obsession. It makes a lot of sense if you look at them side by side.
_awwhellnaw_ 45
Just a reminder as well that 50 Shades is about an abusive relationship and there's nothing healthy about it. It's not BDSM. It's kindling.
XxElementzxX 12
lol when you said BDSM I couldn't help thinking, "Buying Dat Sexy Merchandise" :3
Mindashy 13
"A blatant plagiarism of Twilight." Um, I don't think Twilight even existed when 50 Shades of Gray was written.
Shamandalie89 32
Umm, yeah, it did. First Twilight book was published in 2005, and FSOG was published in 2011, although I've heard it started off as a Twilight fanfic on E.L.James's site and fanfic pages, and she later turned it into a book. Many people say there are no similarities between Twilight and FSOG, but they're so obvious - clumsy, insecure, plain-looking girl (Bella/Ana); beautiful, rich guy with a dark secret who falls for main girl for no apparent reason (Edward/Christian); hot, exotic male friend of a main girl, he loves her but she doesn't return his feelings (Jacob/Jose); and many more. The author basically just took the whole vampires/werewolves thing out of Twilight, put sex and BDSM (or at least her vision of it) in, changed the names and voila - FSOG was written.
kittykat1501 31
This is rude!!!!!!! Peoples, you hurt peoples feelings by saying these things. There are fans, and an author to those books, and you treat it like shit. They are not bad at all. STOP IT! And you know I'm serious because I don't like swearing.