Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML
Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year-old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML
Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML
Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML
Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML
Today, I had an Easter Egg Hunt in my backyard for my kids. When they collected all the eggs, they opened them and to their dismay there was no candy inside. When I bought them, I thought they already came with candy. It’s been two hours and my kids won’t stop crying. FML
Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML
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Top comments
frank_b102 9
Well that kid definitely deserves a raise in his allowance!
91hayek 31
Well that's one way for the church to market Jesus to kids. Also 3 days to respawn like in video games.
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Comments (60)
LifelessStars 22
Been there, done that and got in lots of trouble.
Lomus 24
Judging by the way this is written OP, you seem incredibly pious. You need to realise that your kid has a point, it's nothing to be ashamed of that you raise smart children who question what they're told to believe.
Ben009 13
Yup Nailed It.
kotake 7
Honestly I get the child was tryign to be silly, but the fact that she's speaking out at all is amazing. When I was in middle school I doubted my beliefs in god. There was no one for me to talk to... no one for me to discuss this with... a lot of the time judaism where I was (an upper middle class town) wasn't about belief but about social status and cliques. At least your child isn't like that OP. And that deserves a cookie, both to you and your 9 year old.
Akuna_fml 8
Happy zombie jesus day!!
thisisg 9
lol gota love stuff from kids perspective.
EmiliaB 12
That's actually pretty funny.
vlalam 24
Watch out for that kid, he is going places... Rofl
UniqueVixen1988 9
Happy zombie Jesus day!
jessicabelle_fml 4
Easter is zombie Jesus day