Kids: Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his...

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 280

You deserved it 3 260

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Same thing different taste

By Darth Vomitus - 10/08/2012 18:54 - United States - Mequon

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 527

You deserved it 5 858

Brat summer

By Anonymous - 12/07/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 472

You deserved it 2 717

By carl_carl_ - 13/07/2015 15:10 - United States - Wichita

Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 828

You deserved it 2 200

By kellb123 - 18/12/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 510

You deserved it 2 574

By NoRunning - 17/06/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, I was at the water park, when I slipped and fell to the ground in front of the no running sign. I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 399

You deserved it 5 131

Queasy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 18:00

Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 338

By Amanda - 02/07/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 621

You deserved it 4 746

Get out of my way!

By ow my kidneys - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Germany - Bad Oeynhausen

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 385

You deserved it 1 989

Who gave him that?

By Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 904

By shitpile - 06/08/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 488

You deserved it 4 048

greeneye_fml 12

Monday 30 November 2009 20:08

What I would give to see this on video.

shananigans 0

Monday 30 November 2009 20:28

"Taking out multiple children..." Now, I love kids, but the way I'm picturing this going down is absolutely hysterical.

Comments

SilentHarmony 0

Monday 30 November 2009 20:03

ewwww...

vapors 0

Monday 30 November 2009 21:00

Ewww for the vomit, Mmmm for the girl on girl action. And ofc, the kids barrel roll.

sodahhhr 0

Monday 30 November 2009 21:35

Super Mario World style?

alexandraa_fml 0

Monday 30 November 2009 22:52

*woopwoop woopwoopwoop woop*

EvieAngel 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 0:16

*snickers*

jts2 3

Monday 30 November 2009 20:04

I'd be excited. "H-hey, how many points I get?" While counting the downed children. No, no, I kid. Ouch.

greeneye_fml 12

Monday 30 November 2009 20:08

What I would give to see this on video.

jts2 3

Monday 30 November 2009 20:17

Lol, same here.

CallMeHush 0

Monday 30 November 2009 20:20

WooHoo! Grand Slam!

12inchD 0

Monday 30 November 2009 20:23

wow jackass

_Sophia_ 14

Monday 30 November 2009 20:24

Forget the kids, I think we've forgotten the most important question here, did you get vomit on your clothes? Otherwise FYL indeed.

shananigans 0

Monday 30 November 2009 20:28

"Taking out multiple children..." Now, I love kids, but the way I'm picturing this going down is absolutely hysterical.

perdix 29

Monday 30 November 2009 20:37

Did they have to pay extra for a ride on the Vomit Comet?

Dr_Pwn 0

Monday 30 November 2009 21:50

PUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!11111337

QueenB123 0

Monday 30 November 2009 20:43

Well ewwwwwwwwwww sorry about that (Must have sucked bad)

Starfire22 5

Monday 30 November 2009 20:44

+ 5 points for kids 5 n up +10 points for kids younger, so what was your final score ;)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 82

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, my mother once again called me to remind me what a disappointment I am despite having two degrees, a house, a professional job and having never been unemployed at 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 178

You deserved it 204

Today, I regret ever deciding to ask out a younger man. I’m 27 and he’s 21. I’m worried about my career, he’s worried about his Xbox; I love my parents, he’s still rebelling against his like an emo teenager; I want romance, he likes to wobble my breasts while giggling, saying, “Boobies.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 1 941

Today, I discovered my girlfriend of 5 years would rather split up than make any shred of effort to revive her utterly dead libido from the last 2 years. She promised the whole past month to make an effort, before admitting she never gave a shit when my patience with her ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 787

Today, I was at a rodeo warming up while my mom unnecessarily bragged about my training skills to a client. My horse then threw me into a gate at a full gallop, in front of everyone. That was the first time he'd ever misbehaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 331

You deserved it 1 007

Today, my daughter threw my stepson down the stairs. When I asked what the hell was going on, she claimed she was just demonstrating her willingness to seriously injure him the next time she catches him in her underwear drawer or in her room at all. I’m not sure which direction to parent in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 178

Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 980