Today, I took my dogs to the park and sat in the grass while they played. Within the first half hour two male dogs peed on my back. The first owner apologized and gave me a wipe to clean up while the second one had the nerve to tell me "this is why I bring a chair" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to a park to relax and read a book. A dog came up and started sniffing me. I tried to shoo it away, but it sat on my lap, and refused to move. His owner came up to me, laughed, and said, "Congratulations, you've been chosen!" as I tried to get rid of the mud all over my thighs. FML
Today, I took my dog to the dog park and let him off the leash for a bit. He ran straight towards a group of people having a picnic, jumped on their blanket, and devoured half of their food before I could catch him. They were surprisingly forgiving, but I had to buy them lunch to make up for it. FML
Today, I'm dog-sitting. To give the pooches some exercise, I took them on a long walk through the fields, where they run, play, and sniff around to their hearts’ content. Thirty seconds after coming back home, one of them made a ginormous puddle right on my living room floor. FML
Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I took a peaceful walk through the park, and then sat on the grass. As I was enjoying the quiet, a dog appeared out of nowhere and decided my shoes were a chew toy. I spent 10 minutes trying to wrestle my shoes away from this dog, while its owner casually walked in the opposite direction. FML
Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Welp, looks like those two dogs own you now.
General_Cool 24
That is not only nasty, but rude. This is why idiots shouldn't be allowed into parks with their dogs.
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Comments (41)
MummyRavyne 14
You deserved it.
meatloaf11 23
There's a button for that...oh wait, there isn't
JCWolfGirl 14
well that's rude, who are you to deside that? do you know me? were you there? plenty of owners at this park sit directly on the grass, and I've done it plenty of times and have never had an incident until yesterday. go step in dog poop.
freddygasman 18
in the mobile app there is
msmedieval 11
It's generally a bad idea to sit on the ground at a park with dogs around. Not only do you become a "target", some owners don't pick up their dogs' poo & you could end up resting your backside right on top of it.
JustASpectator 8
Might not be a popular opinion, but that's partially why I dislike dogs/prefer cats. Sorry doglovers, it's just my opinion, deal with it.
tigerisabelle 31
Because they pee? Cats pee and mark their territory too. It's a pretty common animal trait
freddygasman 18
cats can actually be worse about it. i have both cats and dogs
nightwitch 3
one of my dog walked over to my mother and peed on her foot.. not funny when it happens but I have to admit I still laugh about it
gotaplanstan 28
think about it though...how often do you see male dogs peeing on vertical objects? walls, chairs, fans, table legs, furniture, trees, fences, poles, bushes, car tires...to name a few just sayin and all the people blaming the two dogs' owners, dogs are animals...they do things instinctively, which goes back to my first point...they pee on vertical things, and op was sitting up next time perhaps sit on a picnic table or bench if you're in a park or dog park
JCWolfGirl 14
the park I go to does not have benches or tables. it's either stand, did on the grass/on a blanket, or bring a chair. and how often do you see a dog peeing on a person? that's different than a "vertical object" which more often than not is marked by a dog because another dog marked it first.
rydersmomma16 21
That sucks op sorry. Just wondering though, after it happened the first time, why would you sit on the grass again?
vOIDmASS 13
were you taking a nap? You didn't notice when not one but TWO dogs lifted their legs and pointed their dicks at you?
vb68_fml 28
It is a bit rude but it makes sense
nealatmasfu73 15
you sat on the ground even after the first dog peed on you?