Miscellaneous: Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of...

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 633

You deserved it 9 112

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Same thing different taste

By WhyTheFNot - 20/06/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 459

You deserved it 9 313

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 563

You deserved it 44 709

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 010

You deserved it 2 788

Timing

By iliterallypoopedmyself - 19/01/2012 01:54 - Australia

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 757

You deserved it 3 876

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 622

You deserved it 74 765

By tmac - 04/04/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 083

You deserved it 43 116

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 381

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 018

You deserved it 13 395

By pissed - 10/05/2015 14:34 - United States - Dearborn

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 838

You deserved it 8 027

Hey guys, check this out

By Sonic - 15/01/2010 16:50 - United States

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 447

You deserved it 30 897

Steve97 32

Wednesday 26 August 2015 1:27

"It feels like I'm wearing nothing at all. Nothing at all. Nothing at all." Stupid sexy Flanders

AlicefromIreland 16

Wednesday 26 August 2015 1:27

Mathis reminds me of going to the toilet in dreams and waking up in pee soaked sheets

Comments

lchollett 22

Wednesday 26 August 2015 1:56

Sounds like a pissy situation.

chinaski7628 32

Wednesday 26 August 2015 2:07

Why wouldn't you put the lid down before you sit down?

Thorzix 23

Wednesday 26 August 2015 3:04

Why wouldn't you read properly before commenting?

chinaski7628 32

Wednesday 26 August 2015 3:58

Wow. I totally misread that. My bad.

TheMafu 9

Wednesday 26 August 2015 2:15

Hahahahaha

WOTAN1488 24

Wednesday 26 August 2015 2:34

Classic FML moment :)

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 26 August 2015 4:08

It happens just go change...

zarrganaut 17

Wednesday 26 August 2015 4:09

I'm sorry op, but that is pretty funny!

ww431 15

Wednesday 26 August 2015 4:30

I'm happy to say that I've never managed to do this! Bad luck to you OP! :/

dirty_dan_ 15

Wednesday 26 August 2015 4:36

Way to go smarty pant

ThatOneAstro 15

Wednesday 26 August 2015 5:12

HAHAHALOL sorry...

chaseafterwind82 29

Wednesday 26 August 2015 6:16

God defend your jeans!

mellyski 25

Wednesday 26 August 2015 12:29

I see what you did there. Well played sir

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The Top

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 676

You deserved it 7 123

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 717

You deserved it 4 756

The Top

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 910

You deserved it 4 147

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 097

You deserved it 2 484

Today, I was driving my rented car on the highway at 60 mph when I realized that the brakes had gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 85

Today, I got fired for following my work directions. I found out when I tried to badge into work, and paid $40 for a ride home. There also was an argument with my supervisors because I actually follow the directions correctly and knew what they meant. I'm temp to hire so there's no recourse for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 101

Today, I found out that my husband wasn’t at “work” like he said he was. He'd told me he couldn’t come to my Master degree graduation because he was called into “work” last minute. I guess “work” is code word for the “movie theatre” watching Spider-Man with an unidentified female person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 113

Today, my grandma told everyone I'm using steroids and amphetamines, all because she mistook my protein powder and vitamin pills for drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 917

You deserved it 1 029