Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim, and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier, I realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go, "Don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
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Top comments
Jakil_Spectre 0
Ewwww, that had to be awkward. Im glad my parents aren't that open. FYL
ThinkingPunkLove 0
That's disgusting and he can get his own ass up for that, I mean really i think he can buy his own damn condoms...
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Comments (94)
Doorhandle57 0
that would be so scarring
Mykeh 0
Your dad practices safe sex. Awesome.
Indigo1025 0
If he were gay he wouldn't need condoms. That is kind of funny though... but kind of nasty [gay sex is so wrong and weird]
gelatinskeleton 0
Yes, Indigo1025, because men are incapable of spreading sexually transmitted diseases to one another. ._. You're a moron and, going off of what you said in the second half of your post, a closed-minded bigot. Do us all a favor and refrain from reproducing so we don't have to deal with more idiots like yourself.
Stupidstupidrat 0
Here, here Gelatinskelaton. Indigo 1025 (#54), you appear to be woefully stupid as well as being an intolerant dipshit. Enjoy your homophobia (that means fear of homosexuality) and be sure to keep using the condoms yourself, should you in fact ever get laid.
Silver_Lion 0
that is wrong on sooo many levels
turtlellama 0
Second?
vioh 0
Wtf, what sort of father makes their daughter buy condoms for them?! FYL..
xOpheliacx 0
Awkward much. At least he didn't go with you?
Moniquake 4
oh yea that wud be weird O_O
PsychoX 0
Where oh where have all the comments gone? Oh, and yeah, that could lead to interesting discussions with the cashier... Especially if you mentioned your father. FYL
dizzyyy 0
LoL. Ew. You sure he wasn't joking?
q_tipperz 0
uhhh = woww. sucks that u have to know the details of his condom preference !
Alexifish 0
oh my, lol FYL for sure...