Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bladomas 2
why not both? serve him while naked
ManInTheMachine 20
I think you took him too literally, OP. Guys are crazy about the kinky cook. Just put on an apron, start cooking, and pasta might not be the only thing on the menu. ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (67)
dmadsen33 9
Wow... Everyone is saying that "a man can't have sex on an empty stomach".. Well, guess what, then he can freaking cook for himself?! Men aren't stupid, they should be able to feed themselves. OP not being in the mood for cooking doesn't stop the boyfriend from eating when he gets home and then join OP n the bedroom afterwards. Duh.
Negroification 7
Except if the man is out actually earning a living, then the least the woman can do is cook for him.
Rocky007 15
Apparently he knows what you are good at.
momo1972 3
Did you?
fullmetalmutt 2
should of told him eating you out was his dinner
YoursTru1yXo 0
Loooool
needsagf14 12
Classic
krs7g4 8
I would have gotten takeout, fed him, teased the holy hell out of him buck naked, then denied him sexual satisfaction and had a good time abusing myself until I was exhausted.
flashback_fml 14
Lol dress up as both
xReimi 6
I feel for you.
carina_47 16
And here I thought the naked woman works 10 out of 10 times.