Love: Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up... - FML

By baby, baby no - 09/11/2012 18:39 - United States - Ladys Island

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 398

You deserved it 3 504

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Sunshine of my life

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 15:30 - United States - Toledo

Today, while watching a news clip about NASA's Mars helicopter, Ingenuity, my wife asked me if Mars has a sun. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 170

By For - 28/12/2009 14:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 651

You deserved it 6 999

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 17:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was, "Clean your glasses." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 634

You deserved it 4 240

By Steve.mc - 01/05/2011 07:03 - Canada

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 459

You deserved it 7 974

By Smart - 16/09/2011 14:42 - United States

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 590

You deserved it 3 124

By boringhusband - 08/05/2016 14:29 - United States - Salisbury

Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 712

You deserved it 1 508

By Badam - 30/03/2013 01:29 - France - Geaune

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 216

You deserved it 4 090

I'm not a monster, I'm a human being

By Casey - 18/03/2021 11:01

Today, on vacation my wife asked if I wanted her to take my picture. I realized it was the first time in our 10 years she had asked me that question. Moments later I realized it's the first time in my life that anyone's ever asked me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 111

By derve - 07/11/2012 23:48 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 219

You deserved it 2 174

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 04:05 - United States - Springfield

Today, in the "end-of-the-world" spirit, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, "It's really windy out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 019

You deserved it 29 304

Next

Top comments

Pleonasm 35

Friday 9 November 2012 23:35

Well, the Death Star is.

Welshite 39

Friday 9 November 2012 23:34

Why yes, yes they are.

Comments

Azula272 14

Saturday 10 November 2012 1:06

Yes Timon. They are. All Pumba thinks about is gas.

Sally2dicks21 8

Saturday 10 November 2012 1:22

You picked a nice one! ;D

doodlecloud 26

Saturday 10 November 2012 1:30

I'm sorry but someone that dumb cannot have not given you any signs of her lack of intelligence before you got married...so, YDI. However, if you've been with her this long it shouldn't be too much of a relationship breaker. Try to educate her and put it behind yourselves.

pheonix_flash 7

Saturday 10 November 2012 1:32

Blond?

RayearthNinja 10

Saturday 10 November 2012 3:58

We Blondes aren't even that stupid.

Sandman366 6

Saturday 10 November 2012 1:39

How has she survived life if she doesn't even know that?

skittles_fairy07 4

Saturday 10 November 2012 2:18

Congratulations. You married a moron.

Brssps 13

Saturday 10 November 2012 2:33

Tell her a guy goes to the sky and build golden stars up there... Fyl

User57777 13

Saturday 10 November 2012 3:08

Show her an astronomy book or something.

MikeStern 1

Saturday 10 November 2012 3:12

Given that today's is Sagan's birthday. The only acceptable reply is: "No, but men ARE star made"

patrickchawla 1

Saturday 10 November 2012 3:28

you did not know? they are!

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The Top

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 270

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 934

The Top

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 416

You deserved it 60 980

Today, I was offered a promotion but for the same pay. Promotion... WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 335

You deserved it 2 351

Today, five years after the birth of our last child, my husband still hasn't gotten the vasectomy he swore he would get. He wouldn't let me get my tubes tied, because it was "the least he could do," but when I ask about it, I'm a nag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 200

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 205

You deserved it 30 057

Today, I returned from a half-month long trip to China with a group of friends. After throwing myself into my mother's arms and bursting into tears, she stops me to say 'Listen...these last couple of weeks have been some of the best I've ever had. Can we try to keep it like that?' FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 767

You deserved it 5 112

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 591

You deserved it 5 535