Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML
Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML
Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML
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Top comments
Araoth 5
Did you dress as cat Santa? :)
Mr25_fml 14
Mr. Kibbles GO BACK TO SLEEP OR SANTA WON'T COME!!!! *Insert troll face here*
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Comments (286)
pebbles313 3
*Blank stare*
dansco 25
Don't worry about it cat lady... Just make sure you get more next year lol
Lonelygirlinlove 6
Love it! I have so done that!
fatman1970 25
WTF! They're CATS, for Christ's sake! If they were children I could understand. YDI.
acarpenter33 4
Sounds like something I would do.
ganjaone 2
I feel ur pain. I'm a lonely loser too :(
sassypenguinxox 15
You're kidding right?
AffenKid 9
You're an idiot, but no worries, here's my Super 4-step program to help you. 1- get out more 2- kill the cats 3- make new (human) friends 4- live a happy life (without feline weirdness) Taaadaaaaaaa! Merry christmas!
crazyarsedfly 14
Ahh.. Crazy Cat Lady.
Shellytullis1998 20
That's a little odd...