So basically he's an idiot.

I just wonder what the people he reported you to thought.

Or he is really smart and pre-meditating a murder. He needs a fall guy.

Some people just can't take a joke >.>

Maybe his children are a touchy subject, like something has happened or almost happened to one of them before, and OP wasn't aware. It's no reason to report someone or hold a grudge, but I could understand lashing out in those circumstances.

That's my guess

He overreacted and in a very strange way. However, I can understand being annoyed when a co-worker messes with your things. I had a coworker who went on the managers computer and put MLP as their background. They were fired for touching other people's computers, which was against policy.

what a mood destroyer.

it's like he was born without humor or the ability to laugh like a terminator

he left his humor at home then

This is only possible if you're Frankendoodle and you have Spongebob's magic pencil.

He was a two dimensional creature lost in our three dimensional world, longing for a purpose...

*three dimensional aquatic world

"NIO OY ME YOY ME YEH MUH MOY" -Doodebob

It's not Frankendoodle, it's DoodleBob.

The crazies are always among us.

Crazy!? Who said I was crazy!? You're crazy!!

It really sucks when people can't take a joke >_

I'd take them, but theft is illegal. And as good jokes become more scarce and higher in demand, I can't afford the jail sentence. Do you know what happens to beautiful men like me in prison?!

^ definitely not prison rape, that's absurd!

Prison rape? Of course not. I was talking about the fashion shows the inmates put on. I don't want to model.

Good thing, you Welshite, are a mineral. You'll be tried sniffed at most.

I think he has a few problems at home...

Maybe it's just a clever plan because he is planning to murder his whole family and wants to put the blame on you, dun dun dun!

Heheh, yes, yes, I'm sure that's his masterful diabolical plan.

Id do it

A bit too much if you ask me..

He knows who you are and he knows where you live and if you touch his children he will kill you.

Holy shit, is OP's colleague Liam Neeson? I'd be very afraid if I was him.. That dude punches wolves! He fucking punches fucking wolves!

Usually, people's senses of humor reach their limit when you express a desire to cannibalize their children, even if it's only symbolic. You need to take a class in comedy for ordinary people. You get free sunglasses just for signing up.

I will be making sure to join that class.

Are they ordinary sunglasses? Or are they comedic sunglasses?

Comedic-ly ordinary sunglasses....or so I've heard.