Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said "I was in the mood for Chinese". FML
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Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML
Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML
Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML
Today, my Italian boyfriend claims his dad owned a restaurant and taught him everything he knows. His dad must have worked at a McDonald’s then because my boyfriend is the only Italian I’ve met who overcooks pasta into mush, can’t season tomato sauce properly, and thinks Domino’s makes good pizza. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, my boyfriend spent forty minutes making pasta sauce when we had a perfectly good jar of pasta sauce in the pantry. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
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Top comments
mrsmcscruggs 5
Should have said "and I WAS in the mood for sex!"
rockefoe 6
what an ass!
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Comments (93)
emodude44 0
It'sa me! Ho Ping Mao!
RavenNight 0
hmm, u could always ha
RavenNight 0
hmm, you coul always hang him by his ankles off a roof. bet he'll eat it then.
sallen0046 4
Ok, but why does finding out that your part Italian mean you automatically and immediately want to eat Italian food? It was rude of him not to appreciate the effort you put into the meal, but it's rarely a good idea to make any elaborate dinner without first checking to see if your guests actually want to eat such a meal. I might be parts English and Irish, but I have absolutely no desire to consume haggis or cabbage...
Mauskau 36
I thought haggis was Scottish? Idk I only know English stuff. Cabbage is vile though.
soiheardyoufaile 4
haggis is Scottish xD but eh. i'm half italian and if my girlfriend cooked me Italian food, I'd think it would be a damn sweet thing to do OP
Zebidee 9
You might want to Google 'where does haggis come from?'
Locoluis 15
I say. All cabbage should be made into sauerkraut or otherwise soaked in any combination of oil, vinegar and lemon. And never be eaten alone. Mmmm... sauerkraut.
hnz 13
order him to eat your Italian dishes and have Chinese for supper
KrazieKleo 13
Italian or Chinese or Indian or whatever food is food. Tell that ******** to stfu and gtfo:)
SooShee 0
Kick the fathead to the curb!
EffYoCouch 0
I understand what he did was rude and disrespectful, but why is it that when an FML involves a guy doing something even slightly offensive is posted, the women of FML race to their torches and pitchforks and suggest acts of physical abuse, such as forcibly inserting garlic bread into his nostrils?
iwabo 9
right!? if this is how all the kids today are acting, Im very nervous for my daughters future. ladies, not all men are assholes. women can be the biggest c u next Tuesdays ever and these men in our lives deal with our bullshit daily. just bc she made Italian food for him & he wanted something else does not make him an asshole. maybe the bf has told op many times how much he hates Italian. or mentioned earlier not to make anything for dinner. don't forget, there's always two sides to every story.
allichap2012 0
exactly what I was thinking.
CallMeHush 1
Just wait until you find out that he dropped out of NYU.
epyk_pryncess 8
hey, should have told him it was technically Chinese since the Italians stole the noodle from china.... FYI. :)
sublime420 11
Actually, the chinese was made from egg, while the italians made them from grains. LOLJK, I dont know a damn thing about noodles. Im Polish/Irish. All i know is potatoes and copious amouts of alcohol.