Miscellaneous: Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 21:12 - United States - Rockville

Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 716

You deserved it 2 787

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Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 265

You deserved it 6 091

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 960

You deserved it 7 575

Frozen 3

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, as I was putting groceries away, I went to open my freezer door which randomly gets stuck by giving it a good tug, and a frozen hamburger fell on my right foot. My right foot, which is currently healing from a sprain I got a couple days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 196

By freakingow - 14/02/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 983

You deserved it 6 857

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 977

By cheeseless - 11/08/2016 20:47 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I sprained my wrist while trying to grate a block of frozen cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 480

You deserved it 3 897

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

By Ouch - 26/10/2019 22:00

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 180

Large spread

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 06:00

Today, as I went to put a portion of a rotisserie chicken in the microwave, the rest of the chicken slid off the counter. I instinctively tried to catch it with my foot, which resulted in me punting it into the kitchen ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 249

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 723

You deserved it 341

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 915

Next

Top comments

Mynamewontfi 40

Sunday 22 November 2015 12:05

Well, the cutlet lives up to its name.

derpyshy 16

Sunday 22 November 2015 12:19

Make sure to wash up with lots of antibacterial soap. I work in grocery and have cut myself on bagged ice multiple times. Shit's like bagged glass. Hope you heal up quick.

Comments

DarkSaphire2002 14

Monday 23 November 2015 1:05

Thank GAWD!! This has actually happened to me before and NOBODY freakin believed me because it's such a weird thing to have happen! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's this clumsy lol. I hope your finger heals fast!

Ih8teenageangst 19

Monday 23 November 2015 4:05

NEVER GIVE UP CHICKEN!

MariaGiovanni 25

Monday 23 November 2015 5:11

Good think you're in the US.... you can sue the company and get warning labels put on chicken packages in your honor!

lilithfury 23

Monday 23 November 2015 17:50

I needed stitches cuz of a frozen chicken when I worked at McDonald's when I was younger. Those things are evil.

Devin396 10

Monday 23 November 2015 20:47

....HOW?

VampOfSavannah 31

Friday 27 November 2015 11:20

All I'm thinking is how hilarious it would be to hear "Man (woman?) slashed to death by frozen bird". Being killed by an edible weapon would be one hell of a way to go.

Triangle6757 9

Thursday 14 July 2016 20:06

Now we know how it got its name

Whereis_Mattman 4

Friday 5 August 2016 9:10

The chickens finally get revenge!

Whereis_Mattman 4

Friday 5 August 2016 9:12

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The Top

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 135

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 2 837

The Top

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says, "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 749

Today, after quarantining for 2 weeks so I could spend Christmas with my parents, they went over to see a COVID hoaxer/Trump-supporting neighbor, and spent an hour inside with him, without wearing masks. I'm a nurse, working with cancer patients. They don't understand why I'm upset, and are angry that I'm leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 280

Today, I spoke to my grandma on the phone. Two hours later, my cousin sends me a screenshot of my grandma inviting her and my sister out to lunch tomorrow. This is the fourth lunch in a row I have NOT been invited too. I don't know why she keeps doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 104

Today, I spent the afternoon transplanting a whole bunch of corn seedlings that sprouted, even turning over the new soil with compost and fertiliser. While watering them in, I realised they're actually all just weeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 625

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 075

You deserved it 6 117

Today, because I had to leave the country without notice and didn't have reception to notify my college, I have been irreversibly dropped from all my classes without a refund and will have to reapply for January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 473

You deserved it 527